pun

ooooh...pun of the day!
.
God made mud
God made dirt
God made guys
So girls can flirt!
.
how cool is that? eheheheeee...

injuries

INJURIES

.

The weekend was just filled with it.

And I didn't even know until I went over to Godma's place last night for dinner.

And then I noticed.

.

So here's Lesson 101 on how to injure yourself.

.

Grampa's Injury

.

First, you have to make sure that there is no electricity in the house.

Then, you have to try to make your way up the stairs yah - IN THE DARK!

Ok, here's the important part, remember to miss a step.

Slide down the stairs and make sure your arms are flailing aimlessly.

Your arms will then scrape across the stairs railings and you'll end up with a huge patch of raw skin on the inner arm, oozing fresh puss.

.

Femme's Injury

.

Make sure that the cellophane tape dispenser is thrown on the floor, landing upside down, before you walk away to do something else.

Forget that you threw the dispenser there and walk back to take something else.

Kick your toes really hard against the corner of the fucking thing (yes, I mean the rubberized, blunt corner).

Kick it sooo hard that the blunt corner can actually slice through your skin, causing it to bloom open like a flower, with fresh blood oozing out.

.

It will look something like this

but this one takes the prize. Really. This one does.

Jojo's Injury

Take a walk in the jungle.
Make sure you're not looking where you're going and just continue to laugh and giggle with friends.

Okay, important note, you HAVE to make sure your foot gets stuck under a potruding tree root, because this will help send you flying - yes, it naturally turns you into SuperWoman, without the powers that is.

It will thus look like this





seriously! How can anyone do that to herself? It's just sooooo amazing!
.
************************************
.
Fatty Showed Off
.
last night when he brought me to his office.
he forgets that I work in a china-apek company and his is a public listed one.
just because he had this whole magical thingy where you press a button hidden on a screen in the wall and music comes on and you can even change the music to whichever one you like
.
So.Damn.Idiot!

jinxed

I think I'm jinxed...well, at least to the future-in-laws I am.
That is IF they still want me as a daughter-in-law lah.
.

*femme sighs*

.

5 months ago, fatty and I went to Velvet.
We went there to meet up with JamieLing and gang.

Fatty had a little too much to drink and so, I had to drive home.
.
I crashed the car on the way home

Okay, crashing the car wasn't really the issue.

The issue was the fact that fatty has never never crashed his car ever.
And then femme had to drive.
.
And then, recently, just over the weekend, I was at fatty's place.
We were getting ready for dinner and I was fresh out of the shower.
People here happily skipped to the plug point, plugged the hair-dryer in and started blowing the hair.
.
Suddenly POOF!!! the dryer stops, ASTRO in room shuts down, ASTRO downstairs shuts down, computer goes off, iron shuts off.

And femme is left with one side of head straight hair and the other, frizzles.
Apparently, voltage on femme's hair-dryer too high.
House cannot tahan. So tripped lah the main switch.
.
***************************
.
SO IN LOVE
.
was just watching him sleep that day.
his lips slightly parted, his eyes closed.
he looked so harmless, so absolutely adorable.
i can't believe i've found someone to love,
and for that someone to love me back.
it was sooooo beautiful.
a tear trickled down my cheeks.

femme is utterly and finally deeply in love.

.
***************************
.
Hey Fairy!
.
heard your "single's" party was great although there were more guys then gals.
sorry I didn't make it, will be there for the next one - PROMISE!
.
***************************
.
Happy B'day, Pearlz!
.
I know you liked the surprise!
Hope you like the pressie too.
.
***************************
.
Retard Angel
.
came to my rescue!
while I was down and out and sniffing my nose off in the freezer we call office,
in he comes, carrying a tray of drinks from Starbucks.


with a glass of freezing, ice-cold Raspberry Frap!

MY BOSS FELL ASLEEP
.
during a product demonstration from a Taiwanese company
and his head kept lolling off to one side
i was so scared it might fall off!
and finally, it lolled off so hard, his forehead hit the table
.
and i guess that woke him up
.
I almost died laughing!
.
***************************
.
I COULDN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF IT
.
it was dangling there, right under her right nostril
and the more she talked and moved,
the more the damn thing moved with her
and i just couldn't hear a damn thing she was saying cos my eyes were too focused on it
.
dammit!
.
***************************
.
KinkyBlueFairy is throwing a SINGLE'S party
.
and I'm invited!
but then.... .....I'm not single
so does that mean I can't go?
.
unless i pretend to be single, and then I'll go there and make loads of new friends!
it wouldn't be thaaaaat bad
i don't think fatty would mind it at all
.
hmmmm.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CrazyChristine!!!
.
stoooopid rain last night
if it wasn't pissing down so hard, we would have met up for your birthday celebration
will make up for it this weekend, alright!
.
but i'm sure you and FunnyVJ had a real romantic dinner

CONGRATS, CAV!
.
before I forget to wish you...
wish your new wife for me too yah
sorry I couldn't make it on Sat night
as you know, was asleep and resting at home
.
hope the party was GREAT even without me...

fatty and i literally slept right through the weekend.
we slept on Sat noon. Woke up for dinner. And slept again.
we slept on Sun night. Woke up for dinner at 2am. And slept again.

:<(

but before sleeping on Sun night, we were at Nad's Raya open house in GOMBAK.

she made so many things!
we had spagetti lah, lontong siam lah, all sorts of kuih lah.
she even had her very own chocolate fountain!

she paid like RM200 for that thing k.
siow!
if i had that in my house, I would be superFAT man...

Nads also has two gorgeous Pursian cats.

This one is called Troy and he has a thing for paperbags.

I don't think I'm ever gonna go to Gombak again.

***************************

The Streamyx at home is down again *sigh*

Stoooopid people who can't even fix a simple problem.

***************************

Surprise from Pearlz @ work this morning.

Knowing how much I absolutely adore geckos, she got me this....

It's in my car now...
Facing the clock....
Telling me to always hurry hurry hurry

Hopefully I'll never be late for work ever again!

Thanks, Pearlz babe! I LUUUURVE IT! *beeeeeeeeeeeeeg HUGS!*

LAST NIGHT

.

was the wooooooorst night ever!

because Fatty was away at the launch, and I couldn't decide whether I wanted to join the girls at The Loft KL, I decided to join mum and dad for dinner.

they decided to go to Paramount

.

WRONG MOVE!

.

just our luck, the lights were down at one of the main junctions

naturally, there was a very very baaaad crawl

we were stuck at that lights for 25 minutes!

.

25 fucking minutes!

.

i was soooo hungry until can mati

.

then daddy got all upset and impatient

and impatience reared it's ugly head

in no time, i was stuck in between a war between mummy and him

while i sat miserably at the back seat, trying not to puke

and suffering silently from gastric

.

obviously....

i ended up asleep in bed at 9.30pm.

so much for a Friday niteeee.

.

***********************************

.

STREAMYX IS UP AND RUNNING again.....

.

like FINALLY

.

the internet line at home was down for the past 3 weeks

and finally....finally....the TM Net technicians came to fix the line

femmy was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to calling the MD himself!

.

anyways, i'm finally connected to the virtual world again

and i don't have to use working hours to blog anymore....yah right!

well, at least now i can blog from home and the office

it's already a friiiiiiiday
and yet, i don't feel like it is a friday at all
in fact, i feel shitty....

*femme sniffs*

i won't be able to see fatty today because he has to go for the launch of the newly re-branded Light & Easy FM....
now known as Light FM (or could it be Lite??)

........and i'm missing him terribly!

*********

Dharma Buddhist University

is a university where students go to learn more about Buddhism,
where they also go and learn how to mediate, elevate and become monks

they were holding an exhibition in the hall on the Ground Floor of the building where I work in and Pearlz and Lisaan literally draaaaaaaagged me in with them


EVERYTHING WAS IN FREAKING CHINESE....
and this ang-moh stuck in a chinese body here didn't know a damned thing what she was looking at.
so, naturally, she whipped out her handy camera-phone
(so excuse the blurred pics yaaaa....i need a new phone anyways. Did i mention that Pearlz dropped my phone in the toilet?)


So i was sooooo wrong
Not only do these students learn how to mediate, elevate and become monks, they actually learn wood carving and photography as well!
And boy were they gooooood!

Everything was just sooooo beautifuuuuuuul...
the wood carving were so detailed I could swear the Goddess was looking right at me

and of course, photography too
geee...i MUST learn to take pictures like that man...

so real....

so real until can die lah.....

the three of us walked out

unharmed! *phew*

POST DATED ENTRIES
.
sooooooo many :( so bear with me okay cos this entry is gonna look really cluttered up.
will try my best to make sure it's still readable after I'm done with it.
.

*********

.

kache-chan took us for dinner in Sentul last week.
yah man...SENTUL okay! I mean, like who goes there anyways....
but apparently, the food is supposed to be really really yummylicious.



but it was so-so only lah...nothing to shout about


i think my niece is a little camera shy...
awww....but i still luuuurve you

i was bored!
the food took a little long to come and what do you expect a girl with a camera to do?
.

*********

.

i went shopping!

.

and got myself a pair of these cuuuuute lovelies....

*********

off to CHERATING.....again

but this time, it was for fatty. not me. apparently, fatty needed a break. *femme rolls eyes*

we released baby turtles that night. it was sooooo fun!

i had this ingenious idea in mind about how we could kidnap a turtle, nurture it until it's big enough and then bring it back to the sanctuary. at least one out of 50 turtles is confirmed safe. but fatty gave me that are-you-stupid-or-wat look and i decided i will not share any of ideas with him anymore.

hmph!

after playing with turtles, we went back and played with poison.

it was aaaaaaallll stevie's idea to play Ride The Bus and guess WHO rode the bus in the end???

fatty & me!

miraculously, i didn't totter back to the room. but i did crash the minute my head touched the pillow.

it was a really fun trip.
too bad stevie, jo, FunnyVJ and CrazyChristine couldn't stay an extra night.
that would have been soooo much better.

DILLUSIONAL?
.
me?
.
well, I don't think you know me enough to call me that, so has it ever occured to you that perhaps....
.
YOU'RE THE DILLUSIONAL ONE!
.

*********

.

thought of the day...

.

would you or would you not attend a wedding when you know the ex-girlfriend is gonna be there?

.

hmmm.....*femme shrugs*

.

*********

.

i'm going away for the weekend!

.

it's gonna be fun fun fun! (i hope)

.

will snap LOADS of pics....

The ex's current and the current's ex

It was mummy's 52nd birthday on Wednesday night
We celebrated at Jarrod & Rawlin's in Damansara Heights

Nice place, cooling and we had a little too much wine to start with...

and then suddenly, while i was trying to saw away at a very stubborn piece of steak...

.

hi! i just came over to say hi...

.
this stranger was looking right at ME!

.

and i had no idea who this person was, but obviously, it was someone i know cos she was looking right at me

.

so naturally (like everyone else would), i got up and smiled

.

hiiiiiiiiii.....how are you? (while furiously cracking my brains, searching for something that would remind me of this person)

.

and then *lightbulb* it hits me. this is Des's new babe, Kate!
.

wtf! i hugged my ex's new girlfriend? like hello! people don't do that! *femme knocks herself on head*.

.

*********

.

was lying in bed last night with fatty when he turns around and asks...

.

remember the first time you had lunch in BBM?

yaaaah.....

was it a monday?

*thinks*....yaaaaah....

were there many people around?

*thinks**why is this idiot asking me such weird questions?**....erm....not many, why?

how many tables lah?

about 2 or 3 I guess, why?

was there a table with 2 girls?

*turns green* who were the 2 girls???

one of them was *inserts ex-gf's name*

.

I. DAMN. Tulan!

of all places, of all times, of ALL people, his ex had to see me

and I don't even know her. Never met her before. And NEVER will.

fuck! I didn't even see her but then if I did, i wouldn't have known it was her anyways.

Apparently, she knew it was me cause she recognised my face from friendster pictures.

.

I don't know what happened but I think my face might have turned into a horrendous shade of green cos fatty leaned over to hug me tight tight.

.

You know I love you very much, more than anyone else I've ever loved, okay

*All smiles*......okay

but still DAMN TULAN.

fatty just called....
.
my car is ready for collection!!!!
.
this is the BEST news I've have had in daaaaays!

and today i shall bury my face in the ground

after only 2 daiquiris last night and i did the worse thing anyone could ever do. i opened the gap.
.
when are you gonna marry me?
.
*Gasps!*
.
fuck! what the fuck was i thinking?! But it was out and I could only plaster on a smile and face the un-known. Fatty's shocked face.
.
And the answer dawned on me.
.
*wails!*
.
He's doesn't want to marry me!!!!
.
serves me right for popping that question. I'm a confirmed MORON.
.

*********

.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN'S!!!

.

and I have nothing to do because my car is in the workshop and IDONTKNOWWHENITSGONNABEOUTANDIMISSITSOBADLY and I'm driving an 18 year old junkie around now.

.

Happy Halloween's to me.....*sniff**femme sighs**sniff*sniff*

Bittersweet chocolates & such

Mother Nature is playing an extremely NASTY trick on me! And this is not the first time she's doing this to me. She's been playing this trick on me so many many times, and yet, time and time again, I've been falling into the same trap and getting myself all vulnerable and confused.
.
Eeesh, and I thought people are suppose to learn from their mistakes.
.
It's funny really. She's been feeding me with really interesting looking chocolates - chocolates that comes in different shapes and sizes and they all look soooo yummy!
.
But there is always something wrong with it.
.
These chocolates she gives me, they all taste really good and sweet BUT only with the first bite. Then the blardy things start getting more bitter and bitter at the second and third bites. And it's all the same.
.
It gets to such a state of bitterness that I can't go on anymore and so, I have no choice but to spit it out and throw the remains away.
.
The current chocolate that I now have is begining to turn bitter. I can feel it at the tip of my tongue already, ready to engulf my whole sense of taste and to leave a thick layer of disgusting, gooey, bitterness as an aftertaste.
.
Should I continue eating or do I throw it away now?
But what if the next chocolate I pick up turns bitter as well? And the one after and the one after and the one after?
Should I give up on this chocolate now?
.
I've been trying to improve on it's taste. Adding sugar. I've been adding so much sugar, I might die from diabetes one day. The bitterness isn't as strong as before anymore, but it's still there. Do I have to keep adding sugar all the time to keep the bitterness at bay?
.
I might run out of sugar one day.
.
But I'm stubborn. And this is one chocolate I want to eat till the very end. Bitter or not. But how long can I hold on for before it turns really bitter?
.
Or will it surprise me and turn sweet in the end?

TV Shows& Daiquiris

TWO & A HALF MEN is not showing on NTV7 anymore and they didn't even inform anyone about it. My poor baby. And he was sooo excited when daddy went to sleep so that he could get the whole TV to himself.
.
I'll try to download the whole season for you okay, sweetie.
.

*********

.

I finally satisfied my cravings for strawberry daiquiri!

Don't know what got into me *femme shrugs* but I was swept over with the strongest craving for strawberry daiquiri two weeks ago and I just couldn't find a place that served that sweet alcoholic drink that could curb my cravings.

For two weeks I looked and I finally found it tonight! At Chilis.

Had three in less than 2 hours.

It was sooooo good!

Didn't come home drunk though. Perhaps a little tipsy cause I was laughing more than usual but it was a happy feeling.

I think I'll be back for more daiquiris soon *hiccup*

bleeding gemini

WAILS!!!
.
Tell me again why I was born a woman??? I just need to know. So at least then I won't feel like it's all so NOT worth it when I'm suffering from severe, pain in the lower parts of my abdomens while bleeding instesively for 5 whole fucking days!!!
.
Woke up this morning telling myself cannot depend too much on ponstan somemore, so went to work without bringing it along with me, you know, for just-in-case moments. fuck. BIGGIE mistake.
.
I am sitting here now (IN PAIN!) and I can't even do anything about it but suffer in silence (like the adult that I am). But I don't wanna be an adult! I wanna moan and groan about it so much so that my sweet little boss (not!) will let me go home early.
.
But no, at moments like these when I need him around the most to watch me writhe in pain and suffer in agony, he has to be like a gazillion miles away from me in China and I can't even show him how much pain I'm in and ---
.
Wait a minute...*femme thinks*....he's not here.
.
Then wtf am I still here for???!!!
.
Confirm brains not working!

Decisions....urgh

Should I or should I not CUT MY HAIR???!!!
.
I know I told myself that I will grow it out again, but when I said that, I forgot about the part where it'll start to get all wirely and curly and getting all tentacles-like. Pictures Medusa. *femme sighs...*
.
Which is exactly what it looks like NOW!!!
.
So...I'm thinking, maybe a little trim? Or a nice bob? Nothing too short of course. I don't wanna 'surprise' SK like what happened the last time I chopped off all my hair. But something sophisticated, short, and chic. Like what I had when I was....erm....*femme thinks*.....20? Yeah, 20 years old. That feels like such a looooooong time ago.
.
Oh gaaaaawd.....
.
Boooooorrrriiiiinnnnnggggggggg!!! I just wanna do something to my hair lah. Like straighten it, dye it, perm it (yah right) or just cut it. Eeeesh....
.
But then horr....this girl cannot make up her mind also horrr.....cause want to keep her hair long also horr.....so, what to do lah?
.

*********

.

ON ANOTHER NOTE I think I'm gonna kill my boss. And my clients. Okay, at least ONE client. Just one client that I really, really wanna kill. I wanna kill this client soooooooo much it's amazing! I didn't even know I had such a pension for killing.

.

And yes, my boss too. I wanna kill him as well. No, wait, killing won't be fun. I want to bitch slap him so hard his that his balls will shrink and drop off. I want to strip him naked and hang him up at the office entrance to dry. Erm...okay, I take that back. Don't wanna see him naked. That would just give me nightmares. I shall put him in a tank filled with phiranas and watch them eat him. But then, the poor little fishies might die. Maybe I should just introduce him to my dog. She might not bite him to death but she will definitely annoy him to death with her barks.

.

Femme strides up to his table and throws the letter at his face. She smirks. He looks at the letter and looks up at her, horrified. She throws her head back and laughs. "You're now working for ME, you hear. I've bought over this entire company. And if you ever, ever do something that will disgust me, I WILL crush you". She slams fist on table for emphasis. Then slowly, she leans down and grabs his puny little balls. HARD!. His eyeballs pop out from their sockets as he keels over in pain. "Just looking at you already disgust me!". And then she drops her hands, and strides away, leaving a blustering, tearful man behind her.

.

WAKE UP!

*femme sighs*

Sugar & spice

I walk through the swinging doors and go straight to the information counter.
.
Hi, I read from outside that you do pep-smear here. When is the doc in?
.
The nurse looks at me, "We do have it but we don't do it for virgins in case we accidently tear their you know" and she gives me a knowing grin.
.
Okay, so when does the doc come in?
.
She's exasperated. "Like I said, we don't do it for virgins. Hope you understand".
.
Rolls eyes.
.
I'm NOT a virgin. OK? So, when does the doc get in?
.
I see realization dawn on her face.
.
Sigh....
.
Do I look like a gawd-damned VIRGIN!!!???

Long long life...

It's ironic, really.
.
One day, the sun is shining with all it's might, the wind is gentle and carresses your face as it blows softly by, birds are singing in the trees and the skies are blue, as blue as can be, and suddenly the next day, the sun is gone, the wind is howling eerily and slaps at your face, there are no birds to be seen or heard anywhere and the blue skies has been replaced with dark, rumbling clouds, threatening to break apart to drown you.
.
How can there be such a drastic change in less than 24 hours? I mean, that is totally impossible. But it is. And it is happening to me right now.
.
Suddenly, there is nothing to look forward to anymore. Nothing. Just the road that goes on and on for miles, and nobody knows where it actually leads to.
.
Who knows? It might take a sudden turn somewhere and lead me right to the beach, where I'm working my ass off so hard right now to be. Or, it might just go on and on and I will have no choice but to walk on and on, hoping that somehow, it would lead me somewhere nice at the end. Or, I might just find out that I was meant to walk this path alone and miserable for the rest of my living years. I don't know. I can only continue walking and just hope for something.
.
Such a sorry ass I am.
.
But this is my life I guess.
.
A sorry ass life.
.
I'm so so so miserable.
.
But work is good. It makes a great painkiller.
.
I guess I'll be working very hard from now on.
.
Sigh.....it's gonna be a long long life....