*Grumbles*

So much for the 'beach' *sighs*

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We arrived close to 6pm on Saturday evening and the sun was waaaaaay below the horizon, so, not much tanning to be done that day.

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All we did was check into our room, unpacked, went to the beach for a little frolicking in the already cold waters and then back up to the room to shower.

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But AuntyLuan gave us a very nice surprise pressie this time.

She bought us matching pario and beach shorts!

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Okok...who the hell knows who's AuntyLuan right!

You always see me writing about Cherating. Everytime I get to go off for some beach get-away, it's to Cherating. Everytime I wanna destress, it's to Cherating. Everytime I need the sun, it's Cherating.

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You must be thinking, "Woi! This bitch so rich arr! Everytime also go Cherating wan".

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Actually, no lorr. Not rich lorr. That's why everytime go also go Cherating lor. Not Perhentian. Not Redang. Not Tioman. But Cherating lorr.

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That's cos Fatty's close friend's parents owns a "no-frills" resort in Cherating, just next to Club Med and the turtle sanctuary. So, we get to enjoy special 'good friend's rates' when we go there and it's pretty reasonable, especially for a clean, comfy resort that faces a clear blue sea. Sometimes, if we're lucky, we even get to see wild boars at night.

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So, because we go there so very very often, we have become the anak angkats to Fatty's friend's parents who owns the place. And yes, the name of the resort, The Place.

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So, now that you know the reason behind why we're always going to Cherating, you can also know that AuntyLuan is the owner of The Place and she loves us as she loves her children...harr harr!

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She made us put on the matching pario and beach shorts the next day, and so, we happily complied. Looking all beach-a-licious and ready to go work on my tan, we happily woke up early the next day and had breakfast at the veranda.

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The sun looked like it was going to hide behind some clouds soon, so I made Fatty gobble down his nasi lemak daging and made a dash for the beach to soak up at least some rays.

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Fat chance.

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The minute I got my toes on the sand, the clouds started floating in and conveniently covered the remaining of the sun. And the rest of the afternoon was spent lying under the dark clouds, where a slight drizzle passed, and taking sips of Sheridan from Fatty's coleman.

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9 hours on the beach and the sun came out for ONLY one fucking hour -_-'

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So much for going away to the beach....

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and so much for Mr. Fatty's Boss getting knocked down by a tanker.

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Fatty's gone to Jakarta and I'm already feeling the depression of not seeing him for the next few days start to settle down in my heart.

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Fuck his stupid boss. Fuck the stupid conference. Fuck Jakarta. Just fuck lah.

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But I've already got activities lined up the next few days to see me through so, that's fine.

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Oh, did I mention how cruel I was?

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Hahahaha! I was damn fucking cruel!

I made Fatty change his return ticket to the first flight to leave Jakarta on Sunday morning...and the first flight was at 6.55am.

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But he willingly agreed to come back early too, so I'm not thaaat cruel.

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After all, I have to wake up early to go pick him up.

OUTTA HERE

....in ONE hour!

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It's my last day and I'm soooo excited!
Not excited cause it's my last day - I've been celebrating since I tendered the letter

But excited cause Fatty is bringing me to Cherating right after this!

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It's been too long since I've breathed in the ocean's breeze and my gills are longing for fresh sea water. I can just imagine how good the water is gonna be, as they always say, Cherating is at its best in May and June.

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Sad thing, we're only gonna be spending ONE night cause Fatty has to go back to work on Monday. Stupid client. Of all days, had to choose to do their commercial recording on a Monday!

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Stupid or wat? Mondays are just after Sundays. Nobody in their right mind would be in a working mode on a Monday. Mondays are like post-Sundays. Whyever do you think there's such a thing called Monday Blues.

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Cos people just DON'T do bloody commercial recordings on a Monday, stupid!

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So, because of stupid clients who insist on doing stupid commercial recordings on a stupid Monday, Fatty and I will have no choice but to rush to Cherating after I'm done in this stupid place, spend one night, and rush back tomorrow night so that the stupid clients can get their DAMN STUPID recordings done!

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But then again, it goes to show that only stupid companies will take up stupid clients because Fatty's company is stupid. They're sooooo stupid they decided to send Fatty far away from me to Jakarta the whole of next weekend. For some stupid conference. With more stupid people. And it's stupid because I happen to be on holiday whole of next week before I start my new job on the following Monday - yes, they are making me work on a post-Sunday, dammit, and Fatty won't be around to spend time with me.

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And it's even more stupid because it was Fatty's boss that's making him go for this stupid conference. And it's stupid because Fatty's boss was the one who told Fatty that he has to be nice to ME, protect ME and always be around for ME.

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So, Mr. Fatty's Boss, how can Fatty be nice to ME, protect ME and always be around for ME when YOU, dumbass, are sending him off to Jakarta for 4 freaking days, on MY days OFF???!!!

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Urgh! I hate him sooo much I feel like squeezing lizards pus all over him, and then flinging the remains at his face. But then again, that's disgusting and no way am I even going near a lizard just for him. So he should just slunk off somewhere and die. And hopefully, while slunking away, he'll get hit by a HUGE tanker. But he won't die yet. Not till the tanker explodes open and it's contents of acidic liquid spills forth onto his face and burn it into nothing. But no, he still won't be dead. He'll be writhing in pain and all the journalist for the press and media will come take pictures of his ugly, distorted face, and then, post it up on the newspapers and internet and TV. Then Fatty won't have to go to Jakarta cause he'll have to visit him at the hospital. And then Fatty's boss's wife will divorce him and then he'll want to die. But he'll live to 100 before he does, hidden away in a cave in Tibet and never coming out.

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Okay fine, I didn't mean anything I wrote. Just a figment of my imagination.

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But I wish Fatty doesn't have to go.

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Oh well, at least I get to go to the beach even if it's just for one day and I get a whole week off.

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I had lunch with Juju and JamieLing yesterday and they were bitching on and on about how fat people are bad people and that all the fat people they know are all amazingly bad people too.

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Juju: Aren't we glad that we're all skinny people here!

Me: *nodded in agreement*

Juju: *looks at me* But you're getting there, Kris! You better be watch it. Go on a diet or something.

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FUCK!

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And then, it was SandyMae's farewell dinner last night so everyone in the clan got together for a scrumptious meal. I walked pass Grandma and she grabs my arm.

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She: Waaaah, Kristy, you put on weight horr (in cantonese)

Me: *waaaaaails!!!*

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And that totally ruined my entire night.

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I really hate it. I hate the fact that I KNOW I've put on weight and I KNOW I'm fat, but I absolutely hate it when I'm told in the face that I'm fat!

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It's like, you don't go up to a bald man and tell him he's bald! You don't expect him to go, "Wha - whaat? I'm bald????!!!". I'm sure he KNOWS he's bald, for fuck's sake.

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And I KNOW I'm fat! So don't tell me something that I already know, okay.

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On another less frustrating note,

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I would like to wish all mother's out there a HAPPY MOMMA'S DAY!!!

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and also, a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my darling ANISTON!!!

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muaks muaks muaks!

we luuuuve you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BLOSSOMMICH SWEETHART!!!

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You're 27 today and yet, you don't look a day older than the first time we met back in college.

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But boy, the memories we have, makes me feel like as if I'm gonna be turning 72!!!

The three of us really had great times, huh, and even till today, our conversations are filled with memories from the past.

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ButtercupTjin and I are really proud of you, babes.

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For the first time in many many years, you actually successfully WALKED OUT after your party was over without having someone carry your drunkard ass into the car like so many years before.

Too bad we didn't have the chance to snap pictures of you taking a piss. You weren't drunk enough.

You didn't even need me to accompany you to the toilet this time.

*sniff*sniff* My girl has finally grown up.

Party or what!

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Well, another year come and gone, and still friends we are!

And friends we'll stay.

And I can foresee, this year will definitely be a much much better year for you, just wait'n'see!

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On another note...

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3 DAYS TO GO

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before I leave this hell hole!

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Seriously, I never knew the amount of rubbish I collected could be THIIIIIIS much!

I mean, 6 drawers filled with stuff, a table top filled with files and 5 thermos mugs???!!!

Where the hell am I even gonna put these things when I bring them home???

omg omg omg omg omg!

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I'd probably just leave them in the paperbag and then lug them off to my new office when I start.

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It's like freaking moving homes, man!

Alive, drunk, rashes and all

I'm BACK!

Oh yessssss I am.

And thanks to everyone who wished me safe journey.

Cos you know what? It's because of YOU that I'm safely back!

(okay, shit, corny, I know. I'm still a little stoned)

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We spent 7 days and 6 nights in Beijing and I don't know why but throughout all 6 six nights, I could not sleep a wink. Well, the last 2 nights, there was a reason why I could not sleep a wink lah.

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Fatty and I had some serious issues to settle, but because he is such a lovable, forgiving and understanding man, we settled it.

(I really sound like I'm trying to blow his bubble kan >_<)

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Seriously, I woke up every freaking hour!

But not like as if there were any hantu(s) in the room lah, cause I didn't see any. Besides, I was sleeping with Jojo and Sarah and they slept like pigs!

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Maybe it's cause I wasn't used to sleeping in an unfamiliar bed without my Fatty next to me lah (there I go again, kissing ass).

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Anyways, so, because I could not sleep a wink all through the 6 nights we were there, and was even more stressed because of the issues I had to settle with Fatty, I started looking like a freaking panda bear, with black rings, puffy eyes, bad complexion and worse, rashes all over my body!

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Okay, I don't think the rashes were caused by my lack of sleep lah. It was more because of the cold DRY weather in Beijing that made me break out in a tiny zillion irritating spots all over my body, and I STILL got it like right NOW.

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So, on the 6 hours flight back to KL, and with the plane facing some technical problems which caused us NOT to be able to watch Norbit, I decided to try to get some sleep. But I just couldn't! So, champion here decided to down herself with wine, totally forgetting that fact that alcohol is triple the effect when you're in altitude! *smacks forehead* And champion had more than 6 glasses!

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Champion got sloshed. No recollection of the plane landing. No recollection of the journey back to the house. Nothing.

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And I am STILL suffering from a light hangover now yah.

People around me actually look sooooo pretty *smiles like a dumb idiot*

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Okay, enjoy the pictures!

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The immigration was PACKED!

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can't really remember the name of this park but it's a nice park =)

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jojo, me and sarah @ the nice park (seriously cant remember its name)

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Bell Tower

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We had to climb up 75 freaking steps to see a bell okay! It was NOT funny. And there was no way you could stop to catch your breathe. Cause shy mah....scared people laugh and say, "Aiyoh, 75 steps ONLY mah...also cannot meh".

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And so, I pushed myself all the way up. And almost died in the process. 75 steps only mah! Cannot meh! Hmph!

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a really cute Chinese boy - but started crying when I waved to him >_<'

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@ the Great Wall! I even made it all the way up!

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There was this woman, who was dressed in a fluorescent green dress, with a radio strapped to her waist, blasting out chinese techno music, climbing up the same time as me. And she was soooo energetic I wanted to push her down!

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I mean, irritating kan. Here I was, huffing and puffing up the damn steps, and it's NOT easy okay. The steps were all uneven, some higher than the others, some shorter. And then, when all I wanted to do was just to concentrate on climbing the damn thing, I hear, of ALL things, Chinese TECHNO music blasting out from behind me and then a blinding green comes into sight! I could have lost grip on the steps and fallen to my death!!!

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Gawd! I SHOULD have pushed her down!

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check out the amount of people on the Great Wall. Very fun meh?

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There were like a row of these chains and locks lined up on the first 10 feet of both sides of the Great Wall. And me, being the dumb tourist that I was, decided to go buy myself a lock to add on to the chain as well.

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They were selling the locks at the souvenirs shops and I wanted to get one. But daddy stopped me. Told me not to waste money worr. Fucker.

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But later, when I asked our personal tour guide what the locks signify, she explained to me. Apparently, married couples come here and put these locks on to show each another that they are locking their hearts together as one.

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KNN! Thank goodness me no buy lock and lock one there, man! If not, I would have locked my own heart away and not share it with anyone else. Phew....close call.

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Okay, daddy, you NO fucker anymore. Me lup you long time =)

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@ Temple of Heavens with my loved ones

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@ WangFuJie Street - deep-dried crickets and scorpions

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yes, these are the lizards you see on your ceiling every night

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madness came over me. I had the cricket and scorpions. they taste a lot like Twisties.

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dongting dack tonguo, anyone?

I think it's Duck Tongue. Yeah, they need PR desperately

drunk on the flight back. i dont even remember taking this picture.

ANNUAL DINNER @ AVANTI, SUNWAY

MamaYen and I were late cause we rushed to Hartamas to get our hair done. I wanted a simple, elegant look.

They gave me the punk rock chick look *femme sighs*

pearls, rocker chick & mamayen

FAREWELL ALLY SWEETIE

BigSisterAlly's going off to Adelaide. So we had the farewell dinner at Wong Kok Char Chan Teng in Leisure Mall last night.

BigSisterAlly and little Gabriel

her daughter, Izzy

We gonna miss you. Have a safe trip and we'll come over to visit you whenever we can okay!