This is me....

...enjoying my cupcakes!!!
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CHEERS to that!!! =)

Updates....heehee

FattyHubby called the doc to ask cos I was crying on the phone non-stop.

And guess what!

She said I can eat two.

ONLY two.

But it's still two.

Which is still better than none.

So this Christmas isn't gonna be that bad after all.

*BIG grin*

I cannot live like that lah

O.M.G!!!!

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Remember how just in my last post I mentioned that this Christmas is gonna be the best Christmas ever???

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NOT!!!!

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*sniff*sniff*

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Renée is down with a slight virul infection and is going through slight purging, so I have to change my diet for a bit until she's ok. Meaning...

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No spicy food!

No fried oily stuff!

No alcohol!

No dairy products!

cos I'm breastfeeding mah...

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When the doc told me about this over the phone earlier, I was so cool and okay with it cos it didn't sink in yet. I didn't realize it yet.

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And then later, when I was on the phone with FattyHubby telling him about it (gosh, I can't believe I'm crying as I'm writing this now), it sunk in.

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NO DAIRY PRODUCTS!!!

Which means that I cannot have cupcakes!!!!

And I ordered 50 cupcakes from Naj-Cupcakes.blogspot.com for Christmas because they are so absolutely yummy and have been looking forward to eating them....and now....I can't!

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NAD!!! Do you use butter in your cupcakes???

Because if you do, DON'T!!!!

Then I won't be able to eat.

Then I'll have to stare at everyone else eating your delicious cuppacakes and not be able to touch any.

And on CHRISTMAS DAY TOO!!!!

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How am I suppose to stay away from those cupcakes???!!!

I can't I can't I can't!!!

I'll die.

I'll just crumble down and die.

On.The.Spot.

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No cupcakes?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO............

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My world is falling apart.

It's crumbling down now around me.

And I can see cupcakes everywhere.

Taunting me. Teasing me.

But not coming anywhere near me.

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*sniff*sniff*sniff*

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I can't write anymore....
My tears are blurring my visuals.

I know I damn drama.

But that's because you're not the one that has to abstain from cupcakes, okay!

So gimme a break!

And let me wail as much as I want to about my cupcakes!!!

Like for real???!!!

Three weeks ago, I hopped on the weighing machine.

And 46kgs bleeped back at me.

Yesterday, I hopped on it again.

And I told myself, it's probably still at 46.

It's been at 46 since the pass 2 months.

But shockingly....

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44kgs

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bleeped back at me!

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44 yah!!!!

That's like lighter than my PRE-pregnancy weight wei.

And I almost fell off the machine in shock.

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I mean, it's not like as if I've been on a diet or anything.

In fact, I've been eating more than normal.

Breastfeeding = high metabolism = hungry all the time.

Seriously, I eat more than FattyHubby and even my grandma said that I was JUICY.

In fact, I even finished up RM8.40 worth of chicken rice.

When Jojo went to tapow for me, even the ChickenRiceMan was like, "Huh, so big packet??!!"

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But there it was. In all its glory. Bleeping back at me. 44kgs.

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Isn't it great?!!!

This is like the BEST Christmas present I've ever given myself ever!!!

And the best thing is, I didn't even have to work hard for it!!!!

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MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!

You know you love me *grins*

I want so many things

Lately, I've been going to Pavilion a lot.

Like A LOT.

Cos it's the ONLY shopping mall in entire KL & PJ that has not one but TWO baby rooms on every single freaking level.

Salute to the person who designed Pavy.

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Two weeks ago, I tottered into Charles & Keith and couldn't resist getting a pair of...

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Yup!

For only RM159.90.

And I love it to death.

Actually, I love Charles & Keith.

And I hope they open more outlets soon so I don't have to keep going back to Pavy just to browse through their new stocks every 2 weeks.

But then again, I like Pavy.

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And then, this week, Charles & Keith started their sales of up to 50% discounts.

And I went again only to walk out with nothing.

Not because I didn't see anything that I liked.

But because there were too many people. I had a huge stroller to push around. There was not much space for me to park the stroller to slowly look at items on sale. And I was in the way of everyone.

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Of cos, I was with Sarah and we could have had taken turns to look after the stroller OUTSIDE the boutique but...

2 girls...

1 fav shoe shop on sale...

You do the maths.

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So, I'm planning on going back again.

Cos I damn cannot tahan the fact that C&K is on sale and I didn't buy anything.

But this time, I'll drag FattyHubby along with me.

So he can look after his daughter while I take my time going through everything.

Brilliant idea, isn't it.

Now, the only thing I have to do is to con FattyHubby into accompanying me to Pavy.

Which is NOT going to be easy.

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******

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Christmas is coming and I'm so excited!!!

Cos I'm thinking I'll be getting loads of nice pressies this year.

Well, I'm hoping anyways.

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Here's a list of what I HOPE I'll be getting:

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1. The new Sony Ericsson X1 *fingers & toes crossed*

2. A bright RED refridgerator for our new house =)

3. Clothes clothes clothes and MORE clothes

4. CASH!!!!

5. That job offer I've been waiting for

6. The Ting Ting's CD

7. A maid

8. A brand new set of kitchen cabinets

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*BEAMS WIDELY*

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*thinks*

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*double thinks*

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*sighs*

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Wishful thinking....

I think out of that list, only #3 & #6 will come true.

Oh well....

One can still dream...

Wtf?

I was just browsing through KinkyBlueFairy's blog and saw that she posted up this site and so, with nothing to do, I tried it lah.
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And THIS was my result!!!
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My blog's readability is ONLY at friggin' Elementary Level wei!
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How can???
Must be because I stopped blogging about getting drunk and clubbing and partying and raving and fashion and only know how to blog about motherhood these days lah.
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Sigh...
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See. Even blogs are more happening than my life now.
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But then...I tried the test on KennySia's blog and guess what?
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Hehehehe.....
His result reads Elementary Level too!!!
And he has such a FAMOUS blog!
So I guess if mine and his same same....not so bad lah.
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Ooooooooo.....Christmas is just around the corner and I so can't wait!
Eventhough I know that this year, in between singing carols and opening presents, I'd probably have to feed Renee and put her to sleep, but I'm excited all the same.
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I guess because it's the first Christmas for Renee.
But MOSTLY, I think it's because I bought such FANTASTIC pressies for everyone this year!!! *grins widely*
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Yes. I actually did proper shopping, buying personal things rather than just running into the nearest supermarket and grabbing 30 bottles of hand & body lotion to be given to everyone. So I'm very sure that this year, everyone would be genuinely in love with what I bought for them....I hope....well, they'd better cos I did put a lot of effort into shopping this year.
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So FAMILY MEMBERS, if you're reading this and you don't like what I bought you, then you might as well drown in shame now because I went to buy personal gifts for each of you while having to lug a screaming wailing crying machine with me, OKAY!!! So gimme a break! And I'd better be getting back equally good presents from you because NONE of you have to lug a screaming wailing pooping machine with you (except for CuzMich, CuzCheryl and CuzNette).

Cabin Fever

Was just going through the photo albums in my laptop and came upon these pictures. My goodness, I almost forgot about these events!
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folding mooncakes boxes back when i was with Tai Thong. and yes, it falls under the JD of a public relations person

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my skinniest moment!
in PD with Candy...girls weekend getaway! was soooooooo good!!!
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look at my flat tummy!!!
i so wish my tummy was as flat again....sigh...
at rum jungle during our partying days
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jack daniels party at upstairs, loft
i miss my hair soooo much!!!
why in the world did I decide to chop it all off when i got pregnant???!!!
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celebrating CurvyShirley's bday
i had my hair straightened then...so nice!

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******

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One night, FattyHubby and I were having dinner in the back kitchen when a fly appeared and started zooming around our food. You know how irritating that is, right? It's like here you are, trying to have a peaceful dinner and then this thing goes around buzzing near your ears and your mouth and landing on the food.

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So I got quite irritated lah and when the fly landed on the food cover, I took the table cloth and swiped at it and it died...HAHAHAHAHAHAH *evil laugh*......

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I couldn't believe that I have not lost my skills in catching flies. And it felt so good to see the thing dead on the table.

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Ok lah, maybe it wasn't dead but it sure was unconscious and it gave me more joy to pick it up with a paper nakin and squeeze it between my fingers till there was a soft "ploosh". Ahhhh...the joys of killing pesky things (oh goodness, I'm looking at my daughter as I'm writing this! So super salah!).

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FattyHubby was looking at me in shock when I started laughing happily after killing the fly. He must have been so shocked to know that his sweet little house wife had such an amazing skill.

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"Hmph...wait till you see me catch flies with my bare hands. You'll be even more amazed", I gloated, grinning at him from ear to ear.

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What I did not know was that I looked like a crazy woman. My hair was in a mess. I was wearing my most tattered of pyjamas. There was chocolate ice-cream stuck on my front teeth and I was waving the chocolate covered spoon about, grinning like a toothless witch and going on and on about how I could catch flies with my bare hands.

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He was still staring at me. And then he slowly said, "Why don't you go out tomorrow? Take the baby out or whatever but just leave the house".

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I stared at him blankly.

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"I think you're having cabin fever".

Finally...

I've posted up my pre-anniversary blog....so happy!

It's been ONE hell of a year!

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I was suupose to post up a pre-anniversary blog before this but I still haven't finished it so this will have to come up first. So look out for it soon!

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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US BOTH!!!

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Yes, it's been ONE year!!!

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Nov 24, 2007 - Our BIG day

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Jan 8, 2008 - We found out that I was pregnant (so fast!!!)

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Jan 11, 2008 - Our trip to Krabi. It was suppose to be a pre-honeymoon thing but ended up being our actual honeymoon and puked throughout the whole trip. SO much for a honeymoon.

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Feb & Mar, 2008 - I was on complete rest in bed due to complications and FattyHubby had to give out angpows himself.

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Apr 2008 - The blood test scare!

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Jun 2008 - My birthday!!! And Renée's baby shower

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Aug 2008 - The emergency C-sec delivery of our baby girl, Renée Elisabeth Lim Yi Cheeng. Followed by FattyHubby's 30th birthday!

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Sept 2008 - CONFINEMENT!!!

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Nov 2008 - Our 1st Anniversary

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I love you, sweetheart, and always will.

I know I'm a hard person to live with and you always have to put up with my temper tantrums but you're the only man I've ever met who could deal with me and my shit and still laugh about it and for that, I thank GOD everyday for making you such a permanent part in mylife.

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XOXO

How I Met Your Father

Feb '02 - CNY

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All the lights were on and there was merry-making sounds in the air as different groups of people crowded at seperate tables, gambling away small amounts of money and laughing and joking with each other.

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At one table were ButtercupTjin's childhood friends, all happily playing a game of BlackJack and screams of "Picture! Picture" could be heard. Most of them were guys, a few girls, all of whom I got to know through my ex (who went to college with them) and ButtercupTjin. It was a bit akward for me to join them, seeing as I was now dating my ex's friend and these group of people knew about it and they weren't very happy with me for leaving the ex and going out with his friend.

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And I felt a little bit of guilt as well. But oh well, relationships are relationships and breakups are bound to happen. Of course, the ex and I had broken up more than a year ago but you know how friends can be. Fiercely loyal. And so, I was seen as the evil bitch who tore their friend's heart apart and is now happily galivanting around with his friend.

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At another table were ButtercupTjin's sisters and their friends, also deep into a serious game of mahjong. Couldn't join them either because the only people I knew in that group were the sisters. And I wasn't one to go waltzing in to interrupt their game of mj. Besides, I didn't know anything about the game.

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Instead, Des (my bf) and I were seated with ButtercupTjin's colleagues from the HitzFM cruisers around her coffee table in the living room. They were a bunch of crazy people all right, and I felt right in place with them. Among them was this Chinese guy (whom I later got to know was called SK whom later became my FattyHubby) whom everyone was calling "Mad Chinaman". I don't know why I was never officially introduced to him then, perhaps because there were too many people around or perhaps it didn't cross ButtercupTjin's mind.

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Whichever it was, I was kind of glad that we were not introduced because I didn't like the look of this guy and he came across as arrogant and sombong and the last thing I wanted was to make polite conversation with someone that looked like that.

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I didn't give him much thought after that night because as far as I was concerned, I was never gonna see him again.

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Aug '02 - Souled Out, Sri Hartamas

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I was wrong.

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It was ButtercupTjin's birthday and Des and I were late for her dinner. We rushed up the stairs and upon reaching the top, I scanned the area, looking for the table with the biggest group of people through the dim lights. There they are! Naturally, seated right in front of the DJ's deck.

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As we made our way there, the first person my eyes alighted upon was HIM. Gosh! He looked as smug as ever and he didn't even bother to say 'Hi' when we got there. Not even a damn smile. Well, heck him. I don't need a snob to spoil my night. Besides, I was there for ButtercupTjin and not anyone else.

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I didn't know why everyone was teasing him and making him down more alcohol. It was like as if people actually thought he was fun to hang out with. As if! And all the while, he just sat there, his short hair sleeked back, looking smugly at everyone else through small evil looking eyes.

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Sheesh. What a loser. Why was ButtercupTjin even hanging out with someone like him?

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Apr '05

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After 4 years of being together and thinking that we were going to be married, Des and I broke up. My bad. And I was pretty heartbroken about the whole thing. Cause I felt so shitty about it. And it is NEVER nice to be the one to end a relationship.

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BlossomMich decided to get me out of my hole and dragged me to Souled Out to have a heart-pouring session with her and ButtercupTjin. You know, one of those BFF sessions where we had each other's shoulders to cry on, in this case, I needed their shoulders to cry on.

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It was a welcome change for me as I have not had the chance to meet up with them since the break-up and as I was in dire need to drown my sorrows with the 2 bestest people in the world, I agreed to crawl out after work to have dinner and drinks with them.

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BlossomMich was already there when I arrived and she managed to secure us a small table. Enough for 3 girls to sit and drink and bitch about all the nasty Malaysian men in the world. Or so that was what I thought.

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"Tjin called. Said Josh is coming along....BUT...," she added when she saw my face fall. "...he'll have friends joining him so they'll be seated at a different table. Don't worry," she leans over to hug me, "you don't have to pour your heart out in front of anyone else".

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Thank goodness. I wasn't ready to have someone else sit down and listen to me moan and groan about my fucked up love life.

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Boy, was I wrong again!

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Josh sat down at our table with the 3 of us and he sat there for 2 hours plus straight!!! Why? Because his 'friends' that were suppose to come meet him were late, RUDELY late, and the 'friends' was none other than the arrogant, snobbish Mad Chinaman!

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Gosh! Already I didn't like the guy. Now, I hated him even more! Because of him, I had to pour out my entire life story (well, 4 years of it anyways) and cry my eyes out in front of my friend's boyfriend. All dignity gone. Just like that. Because HE decided to be late!

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When he finally did arrive, sauntering in like as if the whole world was in his hands, I was staring daggers at him. Stupid grin on that stupid face. If I could, I would slap that smirk off his face and plaster it back on upside-down!

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"Girls, this is SK," ButtercupTjin began the introductions. "Kris, you've met him before right?"

"Well, we were never properly introduced but don't bother," I muttered under my breath. "But yeah, I'm sure I've seen his face around before". Slap slap slap!

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He pulled up a chair and sat down directly opposite me. Of ALL the places around the small table, he HAD to sit right opposite me! So I had no choice but to look straight on at that stupid smirk on that stupid face! Urgh!

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And then. And then right, he HAD to give me his business card! Like for what??!! So that I can see what SK stands for? So that I can see what he works as? I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. THANK YOU!. BUT, because he stretched his hands out across the table to give me his business card, I had no choice but to reach into my bag and take mine out.

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Of course, I could have lied and said I'm out of cards. Or that the office burnt down and my cards were burnt along with it. Or I çould have been honest and said I don't give out my cards to arrogant SOBs with stupid smirks on their stupid faces, but I did neither. Instead, I just pulled out a card from the case, plastered a smile on my face and said, "Here, have mine".

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"Thanks!", he took my card. "Would you like a drink?"

"No thanks," I turned to BlossomMich. "I'm gonna make a move. Early day tomorrow".

BlossomMich got up with me. "Yeah, I'll make a move too".

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I flashed her a grateful smile. At least it didn't look like I was the only one who wanted to get away from this whole scene as soon as possible. And hello, I was still suppose to be the heartbroken-just broken up with bf of 4 years-scoundrel who did not deserve to have a drink. Des & are were gonna get married, for heaven's sake. We even started looking for a place together and things were so serious between us. And I was honestly upset with myself for not being able to stay in the relationship and work things out.

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So, the last thing I need now is for Sombong to come and make my night worse. Who cared that he arrived late and therefore caused Josh to hear everything I had to wail about? Who cared that because of HIM, Josh now knows what a selfish, pathetic brat I am, going around breaking hearts? And who cared that I lost all dignity in front of Josh when I broke down in tears? Who cared anyways?

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I wiped him out of my mind as I drove home, and crawled into bed to wallow in my own sadness.

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A week later.

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I was away in Cameron's for the weekend with some friends when my mobile bleeped with an incoming SMS.

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HI. HOW ARE YOU? DO YOU REMEMBER WHO I AM? WHAT ARE YOU UP TO THIS WEEKEND? SK

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Omg! What the hell was Arrogance doing texting me at this ungodly hour on a Saturday??!! And how the hell did he even get my number??!!

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My first reaction was to speed-dial ButtercupTjin's number.

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"Woman! Why did you give SK my number???!!!," I wailed into the phone without giving her a chance to even say anything.

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"I did not!!!," she wailed back.

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"Then how the HELL did he get it???!!!"

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"Erm...you exchanged name cards. Duh."

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Silence.

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"Oh. That's right. We did, didn't we?" Damn! And I actually forgot? How in the world did I forget? "Sorry arr," I continued sheepishly, my voice much softer now.

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Darn! This means that I can't pretend that I never got the SMS because my number was CLEARLY printed out on the card directly under my name and there was no way I could act all "Oh, cleary Tjin must have given you the wrong number". I cursed myself and replied.

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OF COS I RMBR YOU! WE MET LAST WK @ SOULED OUT. M @ CAMERONS W FRENZ NOW. HVE GD W/END. K

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U HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND TOO. TAKE CARE. SK.

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I didn't reply. So he had no reason to SMS me anything else. And so, I had peace for 3 days. It never occured to me that he was interested in asking me out because I would never in the world dream of going out with him, and therefore, naturally, he would not have gotten any signals from me about being interested in return.

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After spending 3 days up in Camerons (without thinking of anyone else and having as much fun as I could), I returned to KL, and back to reality, to a black-out house. Sigh...and to think that after spending 3 days up in nice fresh cold air, I could at least bury myself in my air-conditioned room. But no. Tenaga HAD to be up to their tricks again. As usual. And I DID NOT want to stay home and be food to the mosquitoes either. And so, I made plans to meet up with ButtercupTjin and BlossomMich at Breakers in Sri Hartamas for drinks and a few games of pool.

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Okay, at this point in my life, after it's been officially announced that I was single and available and am once again back on the market, there were a few bums always hanging around, trying their luck. There was Andy, Bryan, Edmund, Perry...bla bla bla...and then, there was Tom.

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Tom Tom the piper's son....no, not really. I don't know who his dad is but I'm very sure he ain't a piper. All I knew was that Tom was the one that hung around the most. It's like every-friggin-where I go, he was there. He was like a pesky fly I couldn't get rid off, no matter what repellent I used. Exactly like one of those stupid candles that won't go off no matter how hard you blow at it. Yeah, that was how Tom was.

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And I really cannot remember the sequence of events but somehow, Tom was there that night with us at Breakers, and he was driving BlossomMich up the wall, tyring to be the Mahaguru of Pool and all that. Whatever. And then, Andy showed up, apparently, to 'surprise' me. Like I needed it. Yah-huh.
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And like as if that wasn't enough, to my utter horror and dismay, SK sauntered in after that, like as if he knew all along we were gonna be there and it was okay for him to join us. NO, it was NOT okay, but I didn't say that aloud as he was still ButtercupTjin's colleague and I did not want to put her in a spot.
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BlossomMich and ButtercupTjin were furiously whispering to each other at another corner and I could tell that they were up to some mischief. When they saw me approaching them, they immediately straightened up and pretended to discuss about pool strategies. Ya right. For all the years I've known them, I've NEVER in my life seen 'strategies' in the same sentence as their names.
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"What's up?" I asked casually, eyeing the pool game that was going on between SK and...ahem....yours truly. It was his turn and so, I used the opportunity to join the girls for a little bit of gossip.
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"So, you ever plan on dating again?" BlossomMich casually asked and I could see ButtercupTjin stiffling a giggle.
"What's this about? Of course I wanna date again. Only if the RIGHT person comes a long", I sneaked a peek at SK from the corner of my eyes, watching how his eyebrows come together as he mentally forms his next move. "Why?"
"Would you like someone serious....or someone like funny?" ButtercupTjin asked.
"Well, obviously someone who can be both funny and serious," I replied and went on to pocket a red ball. Ha!
"Why?" I asked when I joined them again after missing out on the blue ball.
"Oh nothing," they both grinned at me. "Concentrate on your game".
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I gave them both the I-know-you're-up-to-something look and went back to the game. I had absolutely no idea what these girls were up to, but I knew they were scheming something alright. I could see it on their faces. But then, I decided to stop trying to find out because, it will come out sooner or later. These girls can't keep a secret from me for long.
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May '05 - TGIF, Life Centre KL & Mambo Jumbo @ Velvet
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Eversince Des and I broke up, I went partying with JamieLing every single night. Okay, not every single night, but every Weds, Thurs, Fris and Sats...like without fail! We would bring our clothes and make-up to the office with us, whip off our office suits right after office hours, jump into our party clothes, add on as much make-up as possible and then proceed to whichever joint we wanted. We would stay on until 2, 3am in the morning, go home, pass out and crawl out of bed like zombies from their graves the following morning only to repeat the same routine over again.

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As usual, JamieLing and I were heading down to Mambo Jumbo as it was a Wed night but this time, ButtercupTjin, Josh and SK decided to join us there. I know why ButtercupTjin decided to come. She loves partying as much as I did. I know why Josh decided to come. He could never leave Tjin out of his sight for long. What I DON'T KNOW is why SK was coming along as well. But I wasn't gonna let him spoil my night out so I pretended not to bother when Tjin informed me.

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I met up with ButtercupTjin and Josh for dinner at TGIF in KL first because JamieLing had something to do and will be meeting us up at Velvet later. SK. Well, he was SUPPOSE to come join us for dinner but by the time I was almost done with my beef quasedillas, there was still no sign of him.

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I was starting to get a little upset about his 'punctuality'. This is definitely NOT the first time he's been late for something and I would never forget about it. We were supposed to meet JamieLing at the entrance to Velvet at 10pm and it was already 10.05pm. And she was already there. All alone. In a place filled with unpredictable people. Her life at risk. All because of someone who didn't know how to tell time with his watch!

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"He's on his way", ButtercupTjin announced, after hanging up on her phone call with Mr. Punctuality.

"He was supposed to be on his way like 2 hours ago," I snapped back, thinking only about JamieLing, all alone, surrounded by wolves!

"Awww....c'mon, give him a break," Tjin cooed. "He's really nice. AND extremely hardworking. This is usually the time he leaves office. He's very dedicated to his work."

"Well, he knows we're going out tonight, couldn't he leave work a bit earlier? It's not like it will kill him right?" I was really annoyed.

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Finally, after waiting another 10 minutes, the hardworker himself arrived, of course, apologizing non-stop as he sat down and flipped through the menu. Gawd! Now we had to wait for him to eat too???

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I offered him the other half of my beef quasedilla, the half which I could not finish, hoping that he would take it and forget about ordering his own meal so that we could leave ASAP. But no. I should have known. He took my half of course. But he also proceeded on to order his own dinner. So much for wanting to leave and head over to Velvet TOGETHER.

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"Ok, Jamie's already there. ALONE." I glared at SK as I picked up my bag. "So I think I'm gonna head over there first. You guys call me when you get there. Bye". I bent to kiss ButtercupTjin bye, waved to Josh and SK (urgh!) and left.

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JamieLing was hopping from one leg onto the other by the time I got there, frantic and worried for being alone too long. It was already way pass 10.45pm and I decided we should go in first without waiting for the rest because knowing that SK had only JUST ordered his meal, they'd probably take another hour to arrive and NO WAY was I gonna wait outside Velvet for another hour.

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Surprisingly, the three of them arrived in less than half an hour. SK must have gobbled down his dinner, I smirked to myself. Well, he deserved it.

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JamieLing and I were still in the queue to go in when ButtercupTjin called me to inform me that they'd arrived and after finding out that we were still waiting in line, SK, the gentleman that he is (gags!) decided to open a bottle and got us in faster than I could say "Let's go!". And for that, I was grateful for him.

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I hardly hung out in the same place as them. Instead, I was hopping around the club like a bunny, saying my hellos to practically everyone there who were MJ-kakis and strutting my stuff up on the podium. So I never really got the chance to say my thanks to SK for the bottle and for getting us in so quickly.

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Which was WHY (I would like to think), when I asked him how much I owed him for the bottle and when he said "Buy me dinner instead", I nodded in agreement.

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Oh dear girl, what have I done?

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June '05 - Sri Ayuthaya, Damansara Heights

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Eversince that night out to Mambo Jumbo, SK had been calling me everyday, just to talk. About stuff. About everything under the sun. And moon. And stars.

.

It was so often that even I got used to the routine of waiting for his name to flash on my mobile whenever he called. It was always around 7-ish in the evening, after working hours. Sometimes, I would chat with him from the office. Sometimes, on my way home. And sometimes, if I left office early, lying in bed. And I started to enjoy these little conversations with him. Once I got to know him a little better, he really wasn't as bad a person as I made him up to be.

.

He was funny. He said things that made me laugh until my sides ached. I also found out from our little conversations that he was very much indeed dedicated to his job (as ButtercupTjin had tried to tell me earlier), came from Penang, had an older brother and was now on a journey looking for his one true love.

.

Call me perasan, but deep down inside, I kind of had a feeling that I was one of his choices for his 'one true love', but since he never told me how he felt about me, I never said anything. To me, we were just friends. Simple as that. Besides, I still wasn't ready to go dating again.

.

Anyways, it was my birthday and I decided to ask SK out for dinner. 1. I owed him dinner for the bottle he bought at MJ so many months ago. 2. He wanted to take me out for my birthday so I decided to kill 2 birds with 1 stone. 3. I felt like Thai. 4. I wasn't up to going out with Andy or Bryan or Edmund or Perry or Tom or anyone of those guys.

.

So we decided on a date and he picked me up from work and we headed to Sri Ayuthaya in Damansara. It was close to home for him and also convenient for him to drop me off to take my car which I left at the office.

.

Surprisingly, dinner went well. I was sick for the whole week before this and lost my voice and I still had not gotten my whole voice back so I still sounded like half frog half man. But yes, I had cravings for Thai. To hell with getting my voice back.

.

"Did you leave anything important in the car?" he asked me after we'd ordered our dishes.

"Erm...yeah, my camera. But it's ok. I don't need it".

"No lah, don't think it's safe to leave it in the car. Will go get it", he excused himself.

Well, okay. I didn't think anyone would wanna break into his precious car just to take my camera but if he was that paranoid, I wasn't gonna say anything about it.

.
Conversation was minimal throughout dinner. 1. Because my voice made me sound like a complete idiot so I decided not to talk too much. 2. He was acting all gentlemanly-soft spoken-bla bla. 3. I was too busy enjoying my Thai food. Yummers!

.

I bought dinner of course. Only RM99. Haha! And what a good dinner too! When we got to his car, he held the door open for me and there, at the foot of the front passenger seat, I saw a box. Ooooh....it finally dawned onto me that he wasn't paranoid about someone breaking into his car to steal my camera. He used it as an excuse to surprise me with a birthday present! How sweet!

.

I beamed at him. "Aww...you shouldn't have!"

"Well, I hope you like it. I didn't know what to get for you and spent quite a long time deciding on this", he stammered nervously.

"Okay," I picked the box up and placed it in my handbag. "I'll open it when I get home. Thanks a lot. You shouldn't have gone through all that trouble".

.

He asked me to call him when I got home, just to let him know that I was safely home so when I did get home, I decided to open his present to me before calling him, so that I could also thank him for it and tell him how nice it was. So, I jumped on the bed and opened the box. It was a dainty silver necklace from Perlinis. And it was really pretty. And sweet. But. Just. NOT. Me. Actually. SO NOT ME. It was just something that I wouldn't wear. Unless if I were going for a dinner or something. Yeah.

.

Oh gosh, this is gonna be one akward pone call.

I dialed his number, took a deep breath and plastered on my brightest smile (because one can hear if you're smiling through the phone). "HI!!!" Darn! A bit too loud. "I'm home!" I lowered down the tone of my voice. "And thanks a lot for the necklace," I smiled wider. "I absolutely LOVE it!".

.

"You do?" he asked back, sceptical.

.

To lie or not to lie. Sigh....

"Actually, it's not really something that I would wear on an everyday thing....BUT," I added. "I would definitely wear it for a formal dinner function or something. So yeah, I do...erm...like it".

.

"You sure or not?" came his reply.

.

"Yes yes yes. Anyways, I'm home safe. Had a good time. And thanks for the present. Will talk to you tomorrow. Nights!" I hung up before I had to lie even more.

.

Lying down on the bed, I held the necklace up and watched it twinkle under my room flouracent lights. Actually, it IS quite nice. Nothing like my usual chunky neckwear but it's something different from the stuff I had. It's not that bad. I put it around my neck, stared at my reflection in the mirror, smiled at myself, kept the necklace back in its box and went to take my shower.

.

Jul '05 - The Loft Zouk

.

"Happeeeee Birthday, sweetheart!"I yelled over the loud music as I threw my arms around HotTemperJinee. "What a party!".

.

BeerDrinkingHeather & HotTemperJinee

.
I turned to scan the place, all the while waving now and then to people I know and people that looked familiar. I spotted BlossomMich on a couch at a corner and waved to her. BeerDrinkingHeather, who came with me, was already hopping around, helping herself to drinks. From afar, I spotted someone in a red T-shirt, chatting away with a group of people. He didn't see me, but my heart skipped a beat.

.

BeerDrinkingHeather, BlossomMich, JamieLing & me

.

It was him.

.

I had not seen him since our dinner together in Sri Ayuthaya, only spoke on the phone. But even those phone conversations dwindled down to once a week because it was either I was too busy to talk or he was. So when I saw him, it felt weird because it was like seeing a friend that you have not seen for such a long time and I wasn't sure if we could still click as well as before.

.

Well, whatever.

I walked over to him and his group of friends, people I met from ButtercupTjin's CNY open house before, smiling my hellos. Then I turned to SK and enveloped him in a casual hug. I could already tell that he had consumed quite a bit of alcohol and in his hand was another jug of Long Island Tea. And yes, he was drinking by the jugs.

.

"Hi. Just got here?" I asked, knowing full well that he didn't.

"No. Was here about an hour ago", he replied. Duh!

"Yeah well, I'll go back to join my friends. See ya!" It was weird because he looked like he didn't really wanted to talk to me and we were surrounded by his friends who were giving me the 'look', so I left and went over to join BeerDrinkingHeather, BlossomMich and JamieLing who just arrived.

.

It was fun. Well, I had fun anyways. It's been a long time since I've been out with the girls and I've always enjoyed partying with them. After a few drinks, and as the night wore on, the DJ started spinning really good music and the dancer in me started showing. Soon, we were on the dance floor, letting our hair loose and swinging our bodies to the beat. Before I knew it, we were surrounded by a bunch of Malay dudes who definitely were not there for BadTemperJinee's birthday.

.

One of them, the boldest of the lot, came really close behind me and started grinding me. I threw a dirty look at the girls and moved away but this dude kept following me! Gosh! I moved away again and AGAIN, he followed me. Like, couldn't he read body language? Seriously.

.

But before I could move away again or turn around and slap him in the face, Allen, one of SK's friends, came up to him and said, "Jangan kacau dia. Ini...," he pointed to SK who was directly behind him. "...boyfriend dia. Respect lah".

.

Being big, tall and mean looking, Allen made quite a scary picture and anyone with a sane mind would not have wanted to upset him. Thank goodness Mr. Grinder had a sane mind and backed away immediately. Only to have SK replace him.

.

No no no.....SK did not grind me. SK just really took the 'duty' of being pretend-boyfriend seriously and started dancing close to me, making sure that nobody else would come grind me. He even got my drinks for me and he was being really nice. And I actually enjoyed it. Eventhough I knew deep down, he probably had no idea what he was doing because he was so NOT sober.

.

How sure was I that he was not sober?

Well, it came to a point where he suddenly hugged me from behind and said, "Tonight you're mine and mine alone. For once, I do not have to share you with all the other guys out there".

.

he stole a peck on my cheek when i counted till 3

.

Yup. That was how I knew.

.

And he basically kept true to his word. He kept me to himself the whole night, never letting me out of his sight even for a second and I allowed it. Too high on alcohol to fight him. And I didn't want to. Í would rather choose to be with him than to be grinded by those Malay dudes again. When he DID finally had no choice but to go to the bathroom, his big-bully-looking friend, Allen and his wife, Jo, took over.

.

25 years old and there were still people baby-sitting me. How nice.

.

"You know, SK really likes you", Allen said and Jo nodded in agreement. "Seriously".

"Uh-huh".

"Trust me. We have NEVER seen his face light up the way it does whenever your name is mentioned".

"Uh-huh".

"He turns into a fucking lightbulb!".

"Uh-huh".

"He truly likes you, he does," his word was final.

.

And then I turned around, and saw the object of our discussion, getting down and dirty with a sexy long-haired girl in a little black dress. I turned back and raised an eyebrow at Allen. "Uh-huh".

.

"Okay okay...this does not count. He's drunk".

"Uh-huh". I turned to look at SK again nd I couldn't believe myself but I thought I felt a faint stirring of jealousy. Oh gosh, was I jealous? I shook my head and shook the feeling away and looked at him again. He had stopped dancing and was looking back at me. I threw him a smile and walked away.
.

I hung out with the girls for the rest of the night, dancing and laughing ourselves silly. I did not allow myself to think about SK again, even though he came over to me every now and then. At the end of the night, when the lights came on and the DJ started spinning slow beats, BeerDrinkingHeather and I said our goodbyes and headed out the door.

.

"Wait! Wait!"

I turned around to see SK slowly making his way towards me. So drunk. I waited.

"Let me walk you to the car," he slurred.

"No, it's ok. Heather's going back with me and Jamie's car is parked next to mine so we'll be walking to the car together," I said, and took a closer look at him. "Did you drive?"

"No. Allen, Jo and I took the cab here".

"Ok," I nodded. "Be safe. Night!"

"No no no. I'm serious. Let me walk you girls to the car"."

BeerDrinkingHeather threw him a look. "Boy, we 3 girls stand a higher chance of defending ourselves without you following us".

He still looked at me.

"Ok, fine. Tell you what. I'll call you when I get to the car. How bout that?" I said.

He looked at me once more and then finally gave in. "Ok. Make sure you call me. But only after you get in the car and locked the doors".

I laughed. For a drunk person, he was still pretty concerned for my safety. Bonus point. I nodded, hugged him goodnight and left.

.

By the time we reached our cars at the open-aired carpark opposite, I think SK had called me more than 3 times, each time asking me the same thing. "Have you got to the car yet?"

.

"This guy REALLY have the hots for you, huh", BeerDrinkingHeather laughed at me. I just laughed back, thinking about him.

.

3 days later - mamak in Sri Petaling

.

Breakfast with SK.

His version of apologizing and buying me breakfast and also to get the details on what happened at BadTemperedJinee's party. He couldn't remember a thing. He actually had the nerves to look embarassed!

.

And he didn't even apologise for his behavior! Tsk tsk.

Instead, he said, "You know, a group of us are planning to go to Lang Tengah but none of us have been there before and they asked me to go recce the place".

.

I nodded. I could sense an invitation coming and I quickly started mentally preparing my reply to him.

.

"According to what I found out about the island, the waters are really clear. Like swimming pool clear," he continued.

.

Darn! How did he know about my weakness for beautiful beaches. And as he went on and on about how beautiful the island was, I began to imagine myself at the place itself, swimming in the clear blue waters, getting a golden tan, lying on a white sandy beach.....

.

Before I could stop myself, I heard myself saying "Yes!" to him when he asked me if I would like to go check out the island with him. Well, what the heck. Only RM300 for a 3d/2n stay at such a beautiful island, I didn't care if I'd just agreed to go with the devil!

.

Jul '05 - Lang Tengah

.

All I could say was gorgeous gorgeous GORGEOUS!!!

.

The island IS GORGEOUS!!!! The waters were as clear as he promised. The sand was as white as he promised. The people were nice and friendly. It was just perfect!

.

stopped at KT town for breakfast

.

We had the whole boat to ourselves from the mainland to the island because we left on a weekday and there weren't anyone else who booked themselves at the resort. So we played catching on deck, and I tripped and fell overboard into the deep waters.

.

on the boat

.

Gotcha! Hahahaha....

.

We DID have the whole boat to ourselves, but I was too tired from the 8 hours drive from KL to KT and I was also having a slight hangover as I was partying with JamieLing the same night we left. And I even offered to take the first drive so I was exhausted! So we didn't do much on the boat. Just sat in silence, made small chat and I was trying very hard to look as macho as possible eventhough my eyes were threatening to tumble down shut.

.

SK had the sense to book a room with TWO single beds and for that, I was quite happy. More bonus points! And I swear, NOTHING happened throughout the 2 nights we shared in the same room. Serious!

.

.

Even I was expecting something to happen, and brought the 'emergency kit' with me, but it remained in my bag because, like I said, nothing happened. Yes, he was very VERY much a gentleman. Surprising huh?

.

I was actually waiting for him to come out and confess his feelings for me since we were on such a gorgeous island and the ambience was perfect and it was so very romantic. But nothing happened.

.

Nothing UNTIL the time when we were having lunch and this other guy who was there on a company trip approached us and asked if SK and I were dating. We shook our heads and said we were just friends. And then the guy turned to SK and said, "Well then, good luck to you because when I get back from my snorkelling trip, we're gonna see who's the better man". Shocking huh? I bet SK never expected competition when he'd brought me so far away. So he had a few glasses of whisky and he got up the courage to tell me all.

.

feeding the fishes

.

I was dipping myself in the water, surrounded by colourful coral fishes, soaking in the evening sunlight when Mr. Slightly Tipsy himself came splashing into the water, scaring away all the fishes that were just a second ago swimming around peacefully. I squinted against the sunlight and watched him make his way towards me. I was actually in quite deep waters, sitting on a safety rope which the resort's management put up, warning swimmers not to swim pass the ropes as there were passing boats that went in and out after that. So by the time SK got to me, he was all wet, with hair plastered down on his forehead, water running down his face, his hair and even out his nostrils.

.

But he looked so damn adorable.

And when it hit me that I thought he looked adorable, I knew I was suckered.

.

He joined me on the rope.

"You know," he started and I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "I don't know if Tjin ever told you, but I've liked you for the longest time. Since the first time I saw you at her house during CNY".

"No....Tjin never mentioned anything," so Tjin knew and she NEVER told me??!!! That bitch! I am so gonna call her and scream at her!

"I guess she never told you cos you were going on so strong with your ex and when I showed interest in you, she told me not to even think about it," he explained. Okay, Tjin, you're forgiven.

"Okay....which is why you never said anything to me before?", I asked.

He nodded. "And then when we first started talking on the phone, you kept repeating about not being ready to see anyone else, so that kindda stopped me from saying anything as well".

Wow, respect. At least he was never pushy. More bonus points! *beams*

.

"So now you're telling me.....?" I let my question trail off, and he continued for me.

"Well, I like you. Very much. But I do not want to rush you into anything."

.

There was silence between us for a while as we stared off into the setting sun. Him probably anticipating what I had to say. Me? Well, a lot of things that were going on in my mind at the same time. I knew I kind of liked him, but not enough to go rushing into a relationship yet. I knew I enjoyed spending time with him and that we were compatible. But was it enough for me to get involved with him?

.

Finally, I turned to look at him.

"Where do you see this relationship going? Is it gonna be something long term or what?"

And without a moment's hesitation, he answered, "Well, I cannot guarantee you anything. Who knows, maybe few months down the road I might leave you for someone else".

.

Stupid cow.

A guy should never say that to a girl he's trying to kau lorr.

But it was that naive genuine reply that pulled my heart. Because any other guy would have answered, "I've thought about it and this will be forever lorr. You are THE one lorr." *rolls eyes*

.

I couldn't help laughing. "Oh, you leave me lah? Not I leave you issit?"

He laughed with me and after a while, there was silence again.

"Thanks," I said. "For not pushing me or rushing me into anything. But as I've said before, I'm still not ready."

He looked at me and smiled. "It's okay. You'll be ready when you are. Come, let's go back in and prepare for dinner. It's getting dark".

.

******

.

SK haunted my every waking moment and walked in all my dreams throughout the one week after we returned from Lang Tengah. And I couldn't help asking myself, will it really hurt to just give myself another go at another realtionship? He'd been waiting for me for 3 years and still is waiting. He's a good guy. My parents would absolutely love him.

.

And I loved being with him.

I enjoyed myself throughout the whole trip on the island and he really made me laugh. Was it so wrong to give myself another chance to happiness? To see if things worked out between us?

.

And so, on August 1st 2005, I called him and told him that, "Yes, I would very much like to go out with you".

.

And I've never been happier.

.

******
.

our 1st trip to cherating

.

our 2nd trip to cherating....

.

our 3rd....

.

and 4th...

.

and 5th....

.

and 6th...still counting...

.

...finally....7th....

.

on ochard rd, singapore, new year 05/06

.

christmas

.

valentine's

.

at 7atenine

.

cameron's

.

genting's

.

langkawi

.

maya hotel

.

pangkor

.

port dickson

.

penang

.

the day after he proposed

.

the proposal ring from deGem

.

redang

Fail

Seriously, only mothers out there will understand that staying home to be a full-time mom HAS GOT TO BE the toughest job on the planet!

.

Shit.

I NEVER in my life expected my life to be like that. If I'd known, I'd have waited a little longer before ever deciding to have a baby.

.

Babies are not easy to deal with.

.

It's not the pooping or the feeding or the rocking to sleep or anything.

It's the CRYING!

Gosh!

And especially when they cry for no reason at all!

Or at least I don't think there's a reason for them to cry.

.

Diapers cleaned. Checked.

Hunger satiated. Checked.

Room temp just nice. Checked.

Baby's temp. Checked.

Tummy nice and soft. Checked.

Sleepiness. Checked.

.

Then WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL CRYING???!!!

.

I could cry with you.

Because I really don't know what you want.

And I've tried my best to comfort you in all ways possible.

And the worse thing is for a mother not to know what her child wants and to fail in comforting her child.

.

I'm a failure.

I'm ADDICTED!!!!

to online shopping.
DIE!
now no need to go out also can go broke.
.
in 2 days, I've spent RM200 on 4 items already.
someone PLEASE take the internet away from me.
i'm hopeless!
.
someone should just take the internet, laptop AND my purse away from me. That way, I don't get tempted at all to spend any money. Better still, take my car keys and license too!
.
sigh....
this is what happens when I'm left all alone at my in-laws', with them fighting to carry Renee away from me and with nothing else to do.
.
FattyHubby has gone to check on the defects of our soon-to-be new home.
.
Oh, I SOOOOOOOO can't wait to move in!!!
.
No more of this hopping between my parents's place and my in-laws'. Hate it!