Happy Birthday

First thing first....

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARLING!

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I know I complained like hell - being the bitch I am, when you surprised me on my birthday. And I know I shed too many bucket of tears over the presents you got for me. And I feel totally shitty about it. I just want you to know that it was all appreciated. I know I didn't show it then, but I truly appreciated every single thing you did for me. It was the effort you put into planning it out that I loved. Sorry the weather didn't help you though.

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Who was I to bitch about it anyways, when here it is, your birthday, and I don't even have a present for you. Empty handed. And no, just out from a surgery is not an excuse either.

IOU one BIG time.

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*********

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Merdeka is just around the corner. Our very own country turning 50. We should be soooo proud. Look at all that we have managed to achieve over the pass 50 years.

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Our OWN brand of vehicles.

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Our OWN international super-model, Amber.

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Even our OWN Princess Diana's fairy-tale wedding in the form of Siti (though I cannot guarantee if it will end the same as well)

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*********

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You know, I used to HATE this country. When I was younger, I usually spent my time hiding in the shadows of my room, phsyching myself into leaving the country for greener pastures. I hated the weather, I hated the people, I just hated everything about the country. Ironically, I loved Dr. M though. Funny.

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But here I am, at 26, still living in the same house, still breathing the same air from the country I once planned to flee. And I am happy.

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Somehow, while growing up, I terjatuh CINTA.

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....with Balik Pulau's incredibly yummy Assam Laksa

....with Cherating's not so clear but still clearer than longkang water hungry ocean

....with Melaka's delicious satay celup

....with the Nangka-special juice in Stulang, JB

....with them HUGE-ASS coconuts of KK

....with Mumbo Jumbo @ Velvet

....with my funny, funny colleagues at the dumb-ass company I happen to be working for

....with Petaling Street's so-spicy-till-your tongue-goes-numb Portuguese Grilled fish

....with Seremban's siew bao though I've never actually been there

....with Sarawak's famous Kuching Laksa and Kolo mee

....with the clear, clear waters and sandy white beaches of Pulau Redang

....with the fishes who loved to nibble your toes in Lang Tengah

....with the non-existent sunrise in PD

....with a very special Penang boy

....with a crazy Klang girl and a whacky Seremban chick

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So yeah, that's how I discovered I LOVE Malaysia so much and I would rather die than to give all of the above up.

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So mari kita kibarkan Jalur Gemilang dan merayakan Hari Jadi negara kesayangan kami bersama-sama!

The Butcher House

I reckon I won't be blogging for the next few days as I would be lying flat on the hospital bed, going through too much pain to even think straight, extremely high on morphine, let alone sit up and blog.

That's right. The doctor has decided to saw me open after he checked on me today. He gave me no opportunity to even say 'No', or to even shake my head.

They are going to cut me open tomorrow evening, and I won't even know what they will be cutting me open with. It could be a BUTCHER's knife for all I know.

So, bear with my absence for the next 3 days okay, perhaps longer, I don't know.

Beachy Me

My trip to the beach was FANTASTIC! As I predicted, the sun was shining down on us with all its glory, the waters were inviting and fresh (albeit a little too cold for my liking and the waves were a little too strong), and everything was all good!

The minute we arrived, I jumped straight into my spanking new bikini and was out on the beach before anyone could utter the word, BEACH!

And then to my horror, as the beach came into view, I saw 2 dead bodies stranded on the sand!

But then when I took a closer, look, to my relief, it was just some log (palm tree, I think) which was washed up on shore during the high tide.

Gosh, if it really were dead bodies, I don't know what I'd do. Never go the beach ever again? Hmmm.....nah-ah, no way.

So, since it was just a log and not dead bodies (dammit!), we did what we usually would when it comes to the beach. Laid our towels down and immediately started soaking up the sun.

It was OBVIOUS that the boyfriend enjoyed himself. He was having too much fun being a cam-whore and using MY camera too! No manners!

The weather was kind to us the whole 3 days we were there.

See how the sun was shining so bright behind me?

And this was the view from where I was lying soaking up all the sun rays and putting myself in danger of getting skin cancer.

Of Bacteria & Imbecile

bac·te·ria bak-'tir-E-a
Function: noun1 : BACTERIUM
not usually used technically caused by a bacteria borne by certain tiny ticks —Wall Street Journal-infect a person —Cheryl Clark

im·be·cile mb-sl, -sln.
A stupid or silly person; a dolt.
A person whose mental acumen is well below par.
A person of moderate to severe mental retardation having a mental age of from three to seven years and generally being capable of some degree of communication and performance of simple tasks under supervision. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive.

taken from www.dictionary.com

There are a few things I absolutely HATE in this world.

1. LIARS - if you don't plan to tell the truth, stfu.
2. Bittergourd
3. Red Lipstick - need I say more?
4. Cold weather

....and MOST OF ALL.....

HYPOCRITES - smiling fuckers who jabs you in the back the second you turn. They are akin to bacterias and imbeciles, I tell you.

And do you know where you can find most of these things??? In the freaking office!!! Yes, it's true. Each and everyone of us are surrounded by these blood-sucking, vile creatures. All of us have fallen prey to their vicious stings and posoinous bites. If you have not, you WILL. We cannot escape. We can't run. There's no where to hide from these nasty ticks. They will sniff you out, hunt you down and trap you in your little corner, while you quiver in fear and cry silently for help. But you know what, nobody will come to your aid. Because nobody wants to be the next-in-line for these villians.

And the worse thing is, you won't even know who they are until it's waaaaaay too late. Until you've been bitten. Oh, they're very good pretenders, you know. The best in the world. Hell, if they give out awards for the 'Best Pretender of the Year', I can bet you every ringgit in my pathetic bank account that they will win. Hands down!

Oh, they're very cunning alright. They smile sweetly, syrup dripping from each sentence that leaves their foul mouth, offering to help you should you need any assistance from them, exclaiming to the whole world that you are the best person to be friends with and getting you all soft-hearted as you sucker up to them.

And then, next thing you know, when you do indeed go ask them for help, they're always busy with something else "Oh, I really wanna help but you know lah, I have to settle this first" kindda thing, and before you know it, instead of syrup, word gets back to you that they've been spitting nothing but venom when talking about you to others. Oh, but they're still all sweet and nice when you talk to them,. However, turn your back and they stab you with a BLUNT knife (yes, not even a sharp one okay). These bloody morons.

I seriously don't know if these vicious imbeciles read blogs and frankly, I don't give a damn even if they do, but there are a few I have encountered in the place where I earn my living and I absolutely CANNOT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE!!!

You know, I'm actually really flattered that you think me worthy enough to wanna bitch about me behind my back. Afterall, I usually won't talk about someone unless that person is worth talking about. So it looks like you find me to be 'something', huh, since you just looooove to talk about me. Honey, you know what my mother told me before? She said I should be happy that someone actually finds me worthy enough to wanna spend time and energy talking about cos that means that he / she is envious of me or jealous of me.

And you know what, I think she's absolutely right! You ARE jealous of me!

It's common knowledge to everyone that you find me (or at least my department) a THREAT! You can't control us, and even if you wanted to, you KNOW you can't do anything about it. We are waaaaaay out of your reach and you are way too low for us to even bother about. You know, it feels really nice to have someone bitch about me, and most especially so when that person happens to be YOU.

I mean, just compare your position to mine. You hold a post that is way up there, and you can do anything you want, have anything you desire, and yet, you can still find time to climb down that corrupted ladder of yours to bitch about me. Wow, isn't that something!

But since this is MY blog and I can say whatever I want to, I just want to let you know that you are a DESPICABLE IMBECILE! I despise the fact that you can be so bloody nice to me when you're in front of me, talk to me about how nice my Prada bag even, and then I find out from someone else that you have been complaining about me!

Excuse me, but if you have a fucking problem with me, then tell it to my face, alright! Don't go behind my back and try to get someone else to do the dirty work for you, k. That is such a coward thing to do (oh, but then again, I forgot you're an imbecile - someone who might be suffering from severe retardation), so maybe that's why you don't have the BRAINS and INTELLIGENCE to do the right thing.

C'mon lah, you think wat? Just because you are who you are, you can go around saying what you want about people meh. Wanna say also make sure you got a fully-loaded pistol lah, and not just shooting blank bullets. You think blank bullets can harm me ar? No lorr. And definitely not when I have a fully-loaded M16 lorr.

Kan I already emailed you from long, long time ago saying I cannot take up that project? My department so little people, and as it is, we're already up to our necks with work, how to take on new account. You think we superwomen meh? Maybe we are lah, but superwoman also got limits kan. And then, after 2 months of silence, you wanna bangkit-kan cerita lama and try to cucuk me ar? Please la. Things like that cannot work on me wan lah. Wanna say that I never got back to you about it issit? Wanna say got money to let me bring in also I dowan issit? And then wanna bring this up to FM issit? Well, missy, unfortunately for your sorry little ass, I have that email saved in my sent items lor. That's right, darl, black & white!

And why bring up to FM for? Think FM can help you ar? Got problem with me then bring up to the big C lah. Why dowan? Because you KNOW your accusations are not valid enough, kan! You KNOW if bring up to the big C, you yourself will get shot down in the end kan! A bit the stupid right you.

Don't you feel like an idiot right now? Tsk tsk.

What do you get a sick baby in hospital?

Huh?

Come again?

What do you get a sick baby in hospital?

*blank*

You can't get fruits, right? Cos the baby can't eat. So what can we
get?

*blank*

My friend's baby is sick and in hospital. We're gonna visit lah. What to
get arr?

*shrugs* I don't know.

Teddy bear arr? Toys arr?

Get something for the parents lah.

Huh? How does that relate?

No point getting anything for the baby kan? Not like the baby is gonna
appreciate it anyways. So get for parents lah.

Okay, so get what?

Fruits lor.

She looks at me and rolls her eyes.

Whaaaaaaaat???!!!

So, what do you get a sick baby in hospital?

Baby, when the lights go out

I recently caught up with a friend on life and relationships, and she told me that she was 'on a break' with her boyfriend.

So naturally, I thought that since she's 'on a break', she would be free to go out or whatever. But apparently, she told me that she still sees him like on an everyday basis somemore and that it really is not so much different from before.

I'm confused. What's the point of going on a break then?

And where do you draw the line between being 'on a break' and 'breaking up'?

Personally, I have been 'on a break' with one of my ex-es as well before and for the whole 2 weeks that we were on it, we didn't see each another at all. No phone calls. No e-mails. No dinners / lunches / yum-chas / nothing. It was a good, clean, get-out-of-my-face-cos-I-need-to-breathe break from each another.

But, no, that did not mean that I could still go out with other guys. That did not mean that I could still see other men on a one-to-one basis. That did not mean that I could sleep around or whatever. Because as far as I was concern, I was still very much attached to my then boyfriend. We were just taking a break from each another for some time to focus on doing our own private things in our own private time.

That's why the term "We are on a break" and NOT "We broke up".

However, not many people look at it the same way that I do.

So, of course, I brought up the subject when I was having dinner with SK one day. And he said something which was pretty true.

Have you watched that one episode on Friends when the guy came back with
a confused look on his face, "But we were on a break!" after he did something which he wasn't suppose to do?
A lot of people think that by being on a break, they are free to go do what they
wanna do during that period and come back to the relationship as a fresh, new
man (or that was what he was implying lah).

And it made me think.

Can we actually do what we want to do while being on a break with our guy? After all, it's not to say that I won't ever be seeing him again because this break is only for a short period. How can I bring myself to flirt around with other men, do things with them and then 2 weeks later, go back to my guy? I definitely do NOT want my guy to be doing that to me.

So there really is a fine line drawn between what 'Being on a break' means and how different it is from 'Breaking up'.

As far as I'm concerned, being on a break means taking time off - BUT still attached.

What do you think?

Sorry

I'm sorry for being insensitive
For not using my brains
And being inquisitive
Because all it brought you was pain
I'm sorry for not thinking
About things that could happen
It wasn't intentional
But somehow things dampen
But a sport you were
No anger you showed
Slapped me you should
Or at least call me a toad
That's why I love you
And why we're so close
We understand each other
From our curly heads to our toes

Get a life, okay...

All I want to do is to just blog about my life, what's happening with the people closest to me, my experiences, my happiness, my sadness, the mistakes I make in life and the good things that I get from life.

So why do you have to go spoil it all for me??!!!

I mean, if you really like my blogs and you think you can get alot of information from it, GOOD FOR YOU!!! But why do you have to use the information you get from here to hurt other people???!!!! DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO, ARR???!!!!

And just because of YOU, I now have to be more careful with what I write about, what I say because people like YOU might one day use my words to harm others.

GO GET A FUCKING LIFE LAH!

One Thumb Down

Last night, I did something soooooo terribly wrong that I should have just thrown myself out of the window instead.

You know how sometimes, the mouth moves faster than the brains and you tend to say something which you didn't mean to say but it came out before you could stop yourself from letting it out and it damages someone's feelings?

I called SK a 'coward'. Sigh....

That's like the worse thing a girlfriend can ever say to her boyfriend and I did that. I didn't mean for it to come out the way it did, it just did. And the look on his face almost made me wish that I could kill myself or at least try to rewind back the time.

We were talking about how his boss is making him work this Sunday for some event up in Gentings, and there was nothing said about him getting a replacement leave or double pay for being made to work on a weekend. And you know me lah, always wanna fight for our rights and all that wan mah so I asked him why isn't he doing anything about it lah? Takkan just like that let the boss bully kan. Must fight back mah....

And all he did was shrug his shoulders and say, "That's the way it is in my company".

That's the way it is in my company??? Cannot lah like that. Where can wan? Must fight back mah. In appointment letter written official working days Mondays - Fridays and not inluding weekends, kan. So cannot lah allow company to exploit you like that.

Honey, takkan you just want to leave it as that meh? Everybody don't fight, you have to lah. If not, they would just close one eye and continue abusing you all like that.

What to do? Nevermind lah. It's always been like that.

So you have to do something about it kan?

*Shrugs*

Aiyoh....you scared of your boss issit? Coward lah you.

There. The damned word. And how it left my mouth.

I didn't mean 'coward' as in really really coward lah. It was more of like a 'you don't dare fight for your own rights' kindda coward. But of course the way it came out from my mouth, it sounded exactly like what it meant. Coward.

I apologised like a squillion times after that, but damage has been done. There was nothing I could do about it but to shut the fuck up and be guilt-ridden.

And then, he turns to look at me, and all he said this.

If this how you see me as all these while?

I swear I felt myself shrivelling up into nothing.

New Baby on Board

It took me soooo long to actually sit my sorry ass down and make myself regsister for my own space in blogspot.com and now that I've finally done it, I don't know what to do with it. I sit here, stare at the screen and it just stares blankly back at me.

So, what do I do?

I try to attach pictures but it takes so damn freaking long to even load one single picture and so, I gave up. Friendster was soooo much more user-friendly, you know. Load pictures also fast la, load post also fast lah, load anything also fast la.

Here I got to tunggu tunggu tunggu....also dunno tunggu what. After all, me using Streamyx mah...takkan take so long to even load something kan.

But nevermind, me give chance. I'm sure this blogspot.com was created for us bloggers for a very good reason and it better be a damn effing good one if not, I'm going back to good ol' Friendster.com.

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Some people actually ask me why even bother blogging, what so good about it?

Why even bother asking that question, kan?

For someone to be able to allow that question to even leave his / her lips is already proof enough that this person has got not the slightest inkling about what it feels to blog.

Why you wanna tell the whole world about what you do for?

Who said I'm telling the whole world?

Ya wat, you write then everybody read then they know lah.

They know they know lah. Won't die wan mah.

I know but why people want to write about their life and let everyone see for?

Excuse me but it's not so much writing about our lives and letting everyone read about it. It's more of being able to share our experiences online, laying our minds open and allowing people to understand how we view certain topics or things that are happening out there. It's about sharing our problems with the world and hoping that someone out there would be able to give us some good advice that might be able to help us. Or perhaps, if I might be so bold as to say that perhaps some of the things we blog about might even be able to help someone out there to solve their own similiar problems.

But most of all, it's for the LOVE OF WRITING!!!! Oh goodness....is it really that difficult to understand?

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With that, I shall go back to trying to figure this blogspot.com out. Sigh....

Unique presents

It has been a slow day for me. Usually, Mondays just whizzes by but today, I don't know why but the clock seem to stopped ticking and the hours just passed by frame by frame. It's really quite annoying because I look at my watch right, and it says 3.35pm and then I go back to facing the laptop and trying to get that proposal done and when I look at my watch again, it says 3.37pm. How can 2 minutes (yes, ONLY 2 minutes) pass by when I was working so hard trying to finish up that proposal. Takkan I finish so much in just 2 minutes, kan? It's absolutely not logic!

And of course, it didn't help with the fact that the boyfriend was sick at home, down with high fever and he gets freaking 2 days sick leaves. I mean, wtf?! Two days sick leave for fever???

Of course I'm not saying that the boyfriend doesn't deserve to have that 2 days off. He's sick, dammit...of course he deserves to have two days off. You have been working yourself like a dog, haven't you, darling? So go get that rest.

I'm just thinking, it's so easy to get sick leaves these days, it's not funny. And of course, SK and I always made it a point to see each another like every other day whether it's for dinner ke, lunch ke, just to cuddle ke, whatever....so knowing that I won't be seeing him today made my day drag on a little longer because I had nothing to look forward to after work (except for the haircut that I went for which, by the way, made me look a little too young for my liking).

Of course some commented that I could always go over to visit him but what for? The sick needs to rest kan? Isn't that why they were given sick leaves in the first place for? So why should I defy the doctor's wishes and go interrupt his rest. Besides, I have better things to do then to go breathe the same air of a sick person *shrugs* What?

But not everyone thinks so. My sister dearest called me MEAN, can you believe that.

Aren't you going to visit SK tonight?

No.

Why not?

He did ask me lah, am I going to see him or not. Then I just said no lah. After that silence. Hahahaha! Then he said why not? So I replied lah, said dowan to get infected too.

You are sooooo mean!

What mean?

You're his girlfriend. It's your responsibility to be there with him (gasps!) When you were sick, he was by your side all the time

That's not my problem. I didn't hold a knife to his throat and make him do that. It was his choice.

Pardon me, but is it really a 'girlfriend's' responsibility to be by her boyfriend's side when he's sick in bed? A lot of people would probably be nodding their heads but I beg to differ. We are, after all, living in the 21st century. And it is definitely not anyone's duty to be by the side of the sick person but the sick person himself!

If he's irresponsible enough to allow himself to fall sick then he can jolly well be there to nurse himself to health.

Ok ok. Before any of you start forming an impression of me being a heartless (yes, even mummy called me heartless when I told her I won't be going over to see SK *ouch!*), emotionless, b*tch, I have to dig in my heels and shout out to the world that I AM indeed NOT a heartless, emotionless b*itch.

In fact, I am proud to tell the world that I love my boyfriend to bits (there honey, a public declaration of my feelings for you. Aren't you proud?), and that I would do anything, anything at all to keep from hurting him BUT I will NOT spoil him.

For goodness sake, the poor boy is down with high fever and it's so serious that the doctor decided to give him a freaking 2 days MC! He doesn't need me to be there PHYSICALLY to help make him feel better. The last thing he needs if for me to be there breathing down his neck and pressuring him to take his meds and stuff. As long as he knows that I'm there for him and that I'm staying away from him so that he can get more rest is enough, ain't it? And he knows. So there!

**********

So, it being such a slow day and all kan, it suddenly hit me that the boyfriend's 28th birthday is just around the corner (August 29th, to be in fact) and I still haven't got the faintest idea what to get him.

So in my mind, I start rewinding lah.

• Watch (last Christmas) - check
• Handphone (last birthday) - check
• Tie (no reason) - check
• T-shirt (no reason) - check
• Accessories (no reason) - check
  

So where does that leave me?

And then I start thinking back on all the presents I received throughout my years of existence, and I must say that I did receive some really unique ones.

Of course there's the I-dont-know-what-to-buy-so-lets-walk-into-Bodyshop-and-get-one-of-'em-ready-packed-ones BodyShop packs, and then the usual tank tops / tubes / spagetti straps / togas / etc. (which I appreciate a lot because I wear these all the time), and of course we have the useless items eg. photoframes, mugs, scarves, socks, decorations, yada yada yada.

But I have to admit, that this year's award goes to something I received for my birthday from a certain someone.

Apparently, it's suppose to look like me. I guess maybe he sent this picture of me in and got them to mold a doll to look like me outta it.

Well HELLO! Knock knock! It's SUPPOSE to look like me. NOT make me look like a freaking man! Oh yes, of course there are the similarities of the yellow flower on the right ear, the same flip of the hair above my left eye....but my nose is definitely NOT thaaaaat big and I have a slimmer jaw line.

Are you blind or something??!! If you don't know how to do your job properly, then go tutup kedai, okay! Instead of cheating people out of their moneyfor something sooooooo imperfect!

So, anyways, any ideas what to get theboyfriend for his birthday?