Friday, February 20, 2009

I'm so doomed

I knew I was doomed the day I got pregnant.
Not because I wasn't ready for a child although at that time, I really wasn't ready. I mean, honeymoon was suppose to be in May, and then after that only try for a child but then I found out I was with child in January and it was all because I miscalculated and....anyways, that's old story now.
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Not doomed because my body was gonna bloat up. Well, I wasn't looking forward to having wider hips because my hips then was already wide and all but then again, all women will have to bloat up when pregnant and anyways, I got my body back to the way it was and in fact I'm lighter than before I got pregnant and I lost so much weight that even my double-eyelid-less eye has miraculously formed a double-eyelid whoopeee! which just goes to show how much oil and fat I lost just from my face alone and YES, I AM GLOATING....teeeheehee!
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I knew I was doomed because....
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You know how everyone has a fear of something? And as you all know if you've been following this blog, my biggest fear is for the four-legged, translucent brown, clammy cold thing you people call a lizard which I don't think it even deserves to have a name but anyways, yes, this lizard thing and I have been on-going enemies for the longest time and no matter how much I try to tell myself that there's nothing much to fear about them, I will continue to be afraid of the disgusting things for the rest of my life and there's nothing much anyone can do about it (this sentence is too long I don't know how to end it).
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My other fear is cooking.
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I know right.
Cooking.
Like duh, cooking?
Cooking. Lizard. Cooking. Lizard. Cooking.
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Okay, fine, to be fair to the lizards, I don't actually fear fear cooking. I more like fear the whole process of cooking. Preparing the ingredients. Putting them into the wok. Having oil spit out from the firery pit onto my hands and singe-ing me. And then having the food taste pathetic after the whole process. That fear.
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So because of this fear, I never attempted to cook. Well, once in a while I do but nothing interestingly enough to cause a fire in the kitchen and most of the time when I DO have to cook (like making maggi mee or boiling rice), I use the good ol' microwave.
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Oh yes, I absolutely LURVE the microwave! Without it, I would never be able to fry eggs, or boil rice, or make instant noodles and etc!
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So, you would think, don't like to cook, scared to cook then don't cook lah, right?
I thought so too.
Until I got pregnant. But then, I pushed it away and told myself to cross the bridge only when I get to it.
And then, 2 weeks ago, when I brought Renee for her check-up, her pediac tells me, the next time you come, I will talk to you about bubur for Renee and being the moron that I am, I ask back, what's bubur?
You should have seen the look on FattyHubby's face. It wasn't nice.
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Porridge???!!!
OH.MY.GAWD!!!!
I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE PORRIDGE!!!!!
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Why can't Renee just drink breastmilk and live on rice cereals forever?
It's just as good as eating bubur right?
They even sell rice cereals with bananas / pears / apples / or whatever you want they have so why would I need to do any cooking?
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Who says boiling porridge does not constitute as cooking? I wil shoot anyone who tells me that okay. I swear I will!
I have to wash the rice right?
I have to put it in a pot, put in the right amount of water and set it to boil right?
It has fire involved right?
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Confirm die!
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BestieKat called me few days ago and I decided to unburden my woes onto her and what does she do? She LAUGHS at me! Hmph!
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And then, she offered to demonstrate it for me one day when I go over to her place. But WHY CAN'T I USE THE MICROWAVE???? I wailed.
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Because it won't be as tasty as doing it the right way. Besides, using microwave is not healthy.
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Tasty? Babies can't taste. If they could, they wouldn't have invented all sorts of different flavored rice cereals right?
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But the one point that hit me was 'not healthy'.
And because of that, I'm doomed.
Doomed to boil porridge for Renee from now onwards.
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Oh, the sacrifices a mother makes for her child!

4 comments:

JoJo said...

Aiyo Che.......it's not that hard laa..........can teach you how to cook it ler... no worries!

SLACKER said...

wtf?? hello.. how can u even think of giving ur baby mircowave cooked food.... that is just so un-cool...

make porridge with mashed carrots and spinach... when she's older... maybe include some mince pork...

very good stuff for babies... trust me!

SLACKER said...

and u r scared of lizards.. so that's why u have some inked on... hmm... nice.. real nice... (u can just feel the sarcasm from my words rite??)

Mabel said...

Seriously, cooking for babies is wayyyy easier than cooking for an adult. :)

Get a couple of girlfriends to help teach you...and best part, is that when your darling is older, you can play masak-masak for real with her! ^^