femmefatale: Coloxyl, the life saver

I was desperate.
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It had been 4 full days since I last poop-ed and it wasnt doing my body any good.
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I felt nauseas. My tummy was so bloated with shit I felt like a freaking 'see-ham'. And it didn't help with the fact that it also made me look like as if I was 5 months pregnant with shit. I mean, just think about it. 4 days of digested food in your intestines, waiting for their freedom and the jail-keeper couldnt find the key to open the door to release them. 4 days can turn anything into toxic. Hell, the stench alone could kill a whole army.
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So I did what I had to do.
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Bananas. In bunches too. I think I bought like 3 bunches of bananas over 3 days. And they're not cheap ok.
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Papayas.
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Kiwi fruits.
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Everything fibre-ish I ever knew existed, I tried.
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But to no avail.
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So yesterday, I had no choice but to use the last option on my "How to Make Myself Shit" list. To take medicated laxatives.
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So I consummed 15ml of the Lactulose liquid (as I have been doing everyday since I was out from the operation).

The doctor told me that anyone who takes this would feel the effects after 2 - 3 hours. But I have been taking it obediently everyday but somehow, it doesn't work the same on me. Maybe cos my ass muscles are stubborn? I don't know.

So, I decided not to take any chances. I decided I should to the ultimum and consume another kind of laxative at the same time.
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Pearlz, of course, would know of my problem. Actually, everyone in the office knew I was having this problem but let's focus on Pearlz, shall we?

She's my colleague, and a very good friend as well. Only 29 but married with a two year old daughter who is, by the way, absoluuuuuuuuutely adorable! Of course everyone knows that I'm not married and I don't have a two year old kid, but somehow, strangely, Pearlz and I click just fine.

Perhaps we're the ONLY two English-speaking people in the company, who, by some crazy coincidence happens to be working in the same department that consist of only two people. Which is, by the way, me and her.

Or perhaps it's because I'm preparing myself to get married and she's guiding me towards making my wedding a successful one.

Or maybe we just love each another to bits and we make each another laugh so much that we get aches in our tummies.

Or, sadly, because we don't have anyone else around to share our ups and downs with. After all, we do spend more than 8 hours a day in the office. I see her face more than I see the boyfriend's face!

Anyways, so, she knows about me having problems sitting on the 'throne' and all that right, so she, being the good mummy that she always is, brought me Tasha's (her two year old kid) constipation relief medication.

Introducing Coloxyl Drops aka chocolate flavoured laxative aka Kahlua neat.