Christmas

Christmas just isn't the same anymore.

.

There was a time when I started counting down the days to Christmas the minute June ended. Christmas shopping was never a last minute 'chore' for me because I always started early and had all the presents wrapped even before the Christmas tree at home was put up. I always made sure I took time off whatever I was doing then, to help mummy and my sisters take out the tree from it's box and light it up, and I was always the one who was hopping all over the house, hanging snowflakes everywhere, and making sure that 'home' is exactly where the 'perfect Christmas' would be.

We would create wonderful fun themes for the different family gatherings leading up to Christmas day.

.

3 days before Christmas will see us at AuntD's place, all decked out in Bahamas wear.

2 days before Christmas, and we're all hanging out in our finest pyjamas at home.

Christmas Eve will see us all at Godma's house, in the joyful colours of red, green and white.

And sing Christmas carols together with AuntD on the guitar.

And then Christmas day itself, we'll all be gathered in our Sunday best, at Grandma's house, fighting for the front row seats in front of the beautiful Christmas tree, while waiting patiently for Grandpa to pick out the presents with our names on it.

.

All these beautiful memories....

.

And then, we all grew up.

.

Christmas shopping became an obligation. A chore. A financial burden.

Instead of looking forward to it, it became something dreaded.

.

There were no more 6-month-countdown to Christmas.

Sadly, Christmas came and went, and I hardly felt it.

I wasn't even home when the Christmas tree was put up this year.

I took no part in decorating the house...
...or making 'home' the place for the 'perfect Christmas'

.

There was no Perfect Christmas.

.

For the very first time, this year, we celebrated Christmas without AuntD.

For the very first time, this year, we sang Christmas carols to a children's Christmas CD.

And for the very first time, this year, we celebrated Christmas at Godma's place instead of Grandma's home.

.

Grandpa and Grandma are getting too old to handle a crowd in their house anymore.

.

And this hit me real hard.

So hard that it hurt.

Because it opened up my eyes and I saw how old the grandparents have suddenly become.

And I know that they will not be in my life for many more Christmasses.

And I cannot ever imagine celebrating Christmas without Grandma's "Five Golden Rings".

Or Grandpa's spasm of sneezes to signify the end of a really yummy Christmas eve dinner.

.

And it made me sad.

And so, for the first time this Christmas, I sat in an awkward silence.

That even PlainJanez asked me if there was anything wrong with me.

.

BUT there is ONE BEAUTIFUL THING that happened for the first time, this Christmas.

.

I'm happily engaged and looking forward to a having wonderful wedding, surrounded by close family and friends, Grandpa, Grandma, Mummy and Daddy, Sarah and Jojo...

And more importantly, looking forward to an even more wonderful marriage....

.

For the first time, this Christmas, I realised that this Christmas will be the last Christmas I'll be celebrating as a single, independant woman. For this time next year, I will be happily married to someone wonderful.

.

So, this Christmas, for the first time, I shall look forward to making next year's Christmas more meaningful, a Christmas where one chapter of my life will end, and the next one will start.

So, have a VERY, MERRY & BLESSED CHRISTMAS this year to all you out there, and may all your Christmassy dreams come true.

Money tree

Fatty went shopping.

He went to get something to decorate his desk.

And bought himself a money plant.

A HUGE money plant.

It now takes up half of his desk.

While he has to squeeze into a corner and work.

.

This Fatty not very smart.

.

And he hopes that the plant will grow bigger.

And bring him more money.

Which is good.

Cos then the money will come to Femme.

.

And Femme won't have to be

.

So. Damn. Fucking. Broke

.

anymore.

shopping

I walked into the office this morning and gave MamaYen and Pearlz each a creatively wrapped Christmas pressie and watched them grin with glee.

No, they didn't hungrily tear the wrapper apart as I expected them to, but they were happy all the same.

And I didn't have to feel guilty for walking into the office yesterday, empty handed with only a couple of sanitary pads to offer, anymore.

.

*femme pats herself on back* pat pat

.

PARKING NIGHTMARE

.

Finding a parking spot in Mid Valley is so NOT funny okay.

It requires the patience of an extremely holy nun and the skills of Rempit bikers.

And I am neither.

.

Therefore, if you were looking for parking at Mid Valley last night and happened to see an almost bald girl yelling at the top of her voice and tugging at whatever remains of hair left on her head, that would be me.

.

So, as you can guess, there was a very grumpy bald Femme stomping around the mall last night, getting last minute Christmas gifts, and a hassled-looking Fatty running after her.

.

The good news was that I managed to get Jojo's, MamaYen's and Pearlz's Christmas presents.

The bad news is that I still don't know what to get for the 2 most important men in my life - Daddy and Fatty.

.

*femme sighs*

(femme has been sighing so much lately, there really isn't much air left in her anymore)

.

ERAGON

.

Watched it. Enjoyed it. Won't watch it a 2nd time.

.

The actors and actresses are all new. And it's obvious that they're pretty new in this career as you'd be able to spot certain flaws in their acting throughout the movie.

But it was a good effort put in.

CG was good too (but don't la compare it to Lord of The Rings/Harry Potter).

And I didn't think it was a good move to pick Rachel Weiz for the voice of Saphira, the Dragon.

It made the dragon sound lame. And it looked such a magnificent beast too.

.

But overall, go watch the movie at least ONCE.

(trust me, there WILL be a sequel).

Guilt

I arrived at the office this morning to find 3 Christmas presents sitting prettily on my table.

One from Pearlz & Pat.

One from Tasha.

One from MamaYen.

.

And they sat there looking at me expectantly, thinking I will magically whip out their presents from my HUGE Chloe.

.

But all I whipped out were a box of Royal Gold Luxurious Facial Tissues, a Scotex toilet roll and a bag containing my precious Kotex Overnight Wings.

.

I'm sorry but it's that time of the month for me again and I'm in a terribly lousy mood because having cramps is really really not funny and I had no time to think about buying Christmas presents let alone wrapping them.

.

But hell did I feel guilty for walking into the office empty handed while 3 prettily wrapped presents sat at my table waiting for me.

.

Meaning I'll be dragging my arse down to the closest mall this evening
.

Christmas BLUEEEEEEES

.

Can't believe that Christmas is just round the corner and I still am in no Christmas mood.

.

Was at Curve last night and everything was blueeeeee....

Everyone in the office today is dressed in nothing but blueeeee....

The Christmas presents I received are wrapped in blueeeee.....

Even my finger nails have turned an ugly coloured blueeeee.....

.

*femme sighs*

.

Doesn't help that I'm suffering from cramps as well.

Good news is that when Christmas is really really here, my cramps will be over and done with.

And I'll be able to celebrate Christmas properly.

.

Also doesn't help that fatty & I had some stupid disagreement yesterday and didn't talk to each another the whole day.

Althought we've already made up (no kiss though), it still feels weird.

And I still don't know what to get him for Christmas!!!

poor

THE LIST

.

More than 30 presents to buy.

Went shopping and got only 8.

Meaning, 22 more to go.

.

And I'm already clueless!

.

Not to mention broke as well. Like really. pathetically. 100%. broke. So utterly broke until can mati.

.

And 22 more presents to buy? Oh gaaawd, how am I going to survive till end of the month.

.

Not to mention all the pre-Christmas & New Year dinners. The parties. The tani-tani sessions. All NEED money wan you know!

.

Of course, it also doesn't help that the company I'm working for is a typical China-apek company that do not believe in Christmas therefore, no such thing as salary being out before Christmas.

.

And then, to make things worse, the only mode of transportation has to go in for a major servicing and R&D - thanks to the on-going problems from the day of purchase till now - and that will cost me about a min of 500-fucking-buckarooos!

.

500-damn bucks ok!!!

.

So Femme has to struggle through this month and poor Fatty will have to struggle through this with me because Femme would be needing a whole chunk of Fatty's $$$$!

TOTALLY UNEXPECTED

The trip to Penang was really good.
Eventhough it didn't go exactly to our (well, mine, actually) plans.
.
This time, Fatty insisted we stayed in GOLDEN SANDS RESORT.
But to compensate it, he brought me for my Balik Pulau's Assam Laksa.
.
And then, instead of going down to the beach, we stayed in the room.
Cos it looked like it was threatening to pour like really heavily and I had JUST straightened my hair.
Didn't wanna looks like a drowned cat.
So to compensate it, we fell asleep in bed and had a good rest.
.
For dinner, we would usually go for chee cheong fun but this time, Fatty insisted we ate at Aunt Celine's restaurant.
I put up a HUGE fight cos I really wanted to eat chee cheong fun and I could not in the world understand WHY Fatty would want to eat something else for dinner.
.
But he insisted.
And so, with a loooooong, black face, I dejectedly went with him.
.
And you know what he did to compensate it?
You know WHAT he did!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Fatty PROPOSED!!!
.
Fatty went down on ONE knee, and proposed!!!
To me!!!
When I soooooo didn't expect it!!!
.
And I started crying! The tears just started flowing and I couldn't stop them.
It was like Niagra Falls!
I was like a freaking bawling baby.....with swollen eyes and a red eye!
And I cried and cried and cried.....while Fatty continued kneeling down and waiting for me to answer him.
.
.
.
.
Femme's GETTIN' MARRIED!!!!

work sucks

I SO NEED
.
another job!
.
I just cannot understand how ONE idiotic fucked up woman can destroy an entire company without even a blink of an eye.
And I even more so cant' believe that my boss can't seem to see the destruction of his company in front of his very eyes!
.
But I can!.
.
And i can foresee hell taking over comes Jan 07.
And that's when I would need to call forth the army of angels to come protect those that needs protecting because as we all know, HELL HATH NO FURY, LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED!
.
fuck.
.
i'm losing my mind already.
.
**************************************************

.

NEW LOOK

.

well, I'm getting my hair done this afternoon and I'm sooooo excited!

I'm not too sure what Fred is gonna do to it, but I know he will definitely do a GOOD job.

.

So, look out for pictures of me new lookie yah!

.

*************************************************
.
PENANG, HERE I COME!
.
And once again, I'm leaving this town for another.
And I can't wait!
.
Chee Cheong Fun
Assam Laksa
Fried Kuey Teow
Nasi Kandar!
Pork Intestine Porridge
.
Ooooh.....I'm gonna put on sooooo much weight after this trip.
.
But who cares. I know, I dont!
.
Have a great weekend peeps! (or at least to those who works in the Selangor region)

not a baby anymore

MY BABY SISTER'S NOT A BABY ANYMORE!!!



but she will always always be a baby to me.

love you, babes! and happy happy birthday!
.
*************************************************
.
OFFICE ALONE
.
because of some last minute work the boss wants.
*sigh*.....and all for what?
.
i want to go home
i want to curl up in bed and read my fav book
.
but nope, no chance, no way
because here i am, still stuck in office, and i can't even do a damn thing till 6.30pm!
cause that's when the press & media people start working
.
but at least there's ONE thing good,
tomorrow's Friday!
and we're going pressie shopping!
.
sooooo happy!

?

Hmmm.....
.

.
am I? or am I not?

nightmare

Femme Had a NIGHTMARE

.

NOT!!!!

.

You know, there are loads of things in life that I hate, one of them lizards, and the other, boyfriend's past girlfriends!

.

Exactly one month ago today, I vowed never EVER to meet Fatty's ex.

*click for flashback*

.

femme had no such luck.

.

We went shopping at Curve on Sunday, cause I needed to look at some stuff at the flea market there. Actually, we were already done with the flea market and were heading back to IKEA to get the clothes hang hang thingy for Fatty's clothes.

.

All of sudden, Fatty pulled me to a stop and introduced me to this girl that I couldn't even recognise. Someone who's face that didn't even ring a bell. Someone whom I didn't even want to meet. But there I was, standing there, looking at this girl, left with no choice cause Fatty was holding me down, but to plaster on a smile and shake her hands!

.

Eeeks! Femme should get hands scrubbed!

.

I'm not even gonna describe how she looks like in this blog, eventhough it is MY blog and I can say whatever I want, but I'm not doing it because I do not want to insult Fatty's past taste in girls..... *ahem*..... anyways....

.

So, yeah, there I was, standing there, in the middle of the freaking flea market, smiling at Fatty's ex-girlfriend!

.

And I NEVER EVER EVER EVER NEVER WANNA EVER be in that fucking situation again!

.

NEVER!!!

.

I hated the fact that there was, there IS, someone in Fatty's past before me.

I hated the fact that I felt like an utter NINCOMPOOP in front of her.

I hated the fact that I was, and STILL AM, feeling insecure about this person from his past.

I hated the fact that I had to smile and be nice to this person who hurt Fatty sooo much before when all I wanted to do was scream at her for being so cruel to him!

I hated the fact that I couldn't be my own self and tell her off for being so nasty to Fatty.

And MOST OF ALL, I hated the fact that Fatty is still soooo nice to her after she hurt him soooo much!

.

But I guess....in way, I should be thankful to her for hurting him so much because if it wasn't for that, he would still be together with her and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now.

.

.

.

.

.

nah.....

.

I still HATE her...

sighs

RUBBING SHOULDERS WITH THE RICH & FAMOUS
.
and i didn't even know it. It was a Wednesday and I went down to KL to join fatty & gang for dinner and some drinks. It was pissing down so hard, I didn't know why I was even going all the way down to town, but stupidly, I did, and I arrived only at about 8.30pm.
.
*femme sighs*
.
so much for going shopping in Sungai Wang plaza.
.
anyways, so I ended up in Planet Hollywood, at the bar, with their really really yucky strawberry daiquiri in one hand, and a soft, frumpy looking fry in the other, seated between Stevie and Allen, both who were looking utterly bored as well.
.
*femme sighs*
.
so much for an interesting, exciting Wednesday night.
.
anyways, so while drinking the awful thing they call daiquiri and munching on that piece of wet, and I mean literally wet, fry, I noticed that besides the two utterly bored guys around me and that one slightly drunk fatty, there was something else happening as well!
.
Celcom was doing their premier of Sumo lah, starring Awie, Gurmit Singh (Phua Chu Kang), and Afdlin Shauki, so there were like loads of strangely dressed people walking around at that Private-Function-Going-On corner, laughing and giggling with each other.
.
i even noticed the female-male person standing at the registration table and I seriously thought it was a female, until it bent down, and I saw the NIPPLES! I almost died from a sight-attack!
.
*femme sighs*
.
so much for wanting to people-watch....beautiful people, that is.
.
anyways, one by one, the guests started arriving and we just sat there and watched. Boy, I had a lot of things I wanted to say about their dressing, but as you know, I only had two utterly bored looking guys and one slightly drunk fatty to accompany me, so i decided to just shut up.
.
suddenly, fatty exclaimed...
.
Hey! That's Gurmit Singh!
.
and i turned around and came face to face with the back of a really bald, and i mean, really. really. hard. boiled. egg. bald. head of someone. Who the heck is Gurmit Singh?
.
and then, suddenly, stevie says Tiara Jaqueline just walked pass with her husband. I turned the other way to see. Gosh, trust me, the movie, Puteri Gunung Ledang, did her LOADS of justice.
.
then next thing I know, Awie walked in, followed closely by Afdlin Shauki, and Natasha Hudson, and more and more well-known faces whose names I wasn't bothered to remember.
.
FEMME'S FAMOUS!
.
*********************************************
.
ALMOST DIED
.
from an asthma attack on Friday (actually, early Saturday morning).
but i thought everything was ok and refused to get out from bed.
of course the annoying thing was the fact that I was having a slight difficulty breathing but I had my asthma puff-puff thingy so I wasn't that worried.
it took fatty some time before he actually got me off my huge arse to go to the doctors.
the stupid doctor made me go on the neubalizer like immediately.
okay, actually, not thaaaat stupid cos i felt much much better after.
.
damn!
.
and i thought i was waaaaaay passed all these nonsense!
.
*femme sighs*
.
so much for a Friday night....