Sugar & spice

I walk through the swinging doors and go straight to the information counter.
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Hi, I read from outside that you do pep-smear here. When is the doc in?
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The nurse looks at me, "We do have it but we don't do it for virgins in case we accidently tear their you know" and she gives me a knowing grin.
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Okay, so when does the doc come in?
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She's exasperated. "Like I said, we don't do it for virgins. Hope you understand".
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Rolls eyes.
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I'm NOT a virgin. OK? So, when does the doc get in?
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I see realization dawn on her face.
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Sigh....
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Do I look like a gawd-damned VIRGIN!!!???